2011 coming to it's end

It's been a helluva year to be sure. I was thrilled my job was still in place at the beginning of the year, it was uncertain. My boss seemed to like my performance from 2010 and I rec'd a nice bonus for the year. I already knew what I wanted to do with it. So, I talked with my guy at the LBS and probably drove him a little crazy with all of my questions. Which bike,  what groupo, what size!?!, etc. Placed the order and picked it up in May. Last year's model of the SuperX. Love this bike.


I told coach my goals for the year. CX is what I want to train for, no early road races for me. I wanted to build bike handling skilz on the mtn bike and use road for power/speed. LOVED the mtn bike and entered and rode most of the DINO series among others. Travelled to most of these races with a super strong Cat 1 woman Mtn biker. She taught me quite a lot on the trails. It was good to have someone to get to know, joke and travel with. I didn't focus enough on power and speed so the handful of crits I entered were horrible outcomes. My fault. 

Came into August and some life events began to take priority. Family always comes first. So between family and work, my attention on training was distracted. I registered for all OVCX races, missed a couple due to illness. I've continued racing by attending the ICX races in December. My results have slid from mid pack to almost last more than I want to admit. But this is bike racing. My goal was to have a mini peak for OVCX finale and then major peak in January.


I was told on 15 November that my job had been eliminated as of 30 November. I was sad yet ok with it. Sad to not be working with some amazing people. Ok because I'd lost my passion for it. 


NYE will be the last local CX race, travelling to Indy and trying one more time to put together a decent workout/effort before next week. Driving to Wisconsin early next week for CX Natz. Wishing it wasn't going to be a solo drive, but seems that's the way this season has been. This year I will stay for the final day and watch the Elite Women and Men, U23 and U19 races. Then back for for Master's Worlds in Louisville. 


I'm not one for resolutions, at least not ones at New Year's time. But I've been thinking about so many events over 2011 and will try a few changes and keep most things the same. 

My Mom and children and siblings are super important to me and I will always try to be there for them. I care about my friends, it's not to say I don't make mistakes and exercise poor judgement at times. But I am loyal, some say to a fault. I don't burn bridges, but try to repair and rebuild. 

I love riding and racing bicycles. I'll continue to work hard and hopefully can put together a better season in 2012 and move out of the Cat 4s in CX. If not it won't be the end of the world.

I will find a new vocation. One where I can help others and feel like I'm making a difference somewhere, somehow. One that rekindles my passion for good work.

I will attempt to remain quiet and think before speaking. This is not always so simple and I've acted poorly out of emotion too many times.


I will continue to build upon existing friendships and hopefully add more friends to the list. I know the cycling community has some of the most wonderful, supportive and all around happy people around.

All the best for a wonderful 2012 to each of you

Peace

Christmas 2011

Best Christmas in a while. Both of my girls, my sis and bro, Mom, nieces and nephews among a few other special people came to my house on this beautiful day. The sun shone increasing vitamin D production.

I cooked Saturday evening and Sunday until serving time around 12:30 ish. Ham, rib-eyes, smoked salmon/sour cream/minced scallions/on tortilla appetizer, vegan fudge, vegan brownies, butternut squash soup, green beans, broccoli casserole (not vegan), lumpy mashed potatoes, fresh veggies,fruit bowl, sweet potato hummus, naan, assorted olives, brie, crescent rolls, salsa and chips, assorted chocolates and nuts. Pots of coffee, soft drinks and iced tea. 

Seems like ages since we've all been together. This is what holidays should be about. I am very blessed and so full of gratitude that it all came together so perfectly. 

I worried  a bit about not having a tree or piles of wrapped presents. But in the end those things weren't missed. Hugs and conversations and catching up was the best present this crazy woman could ever hope for.

My sincere wish is that everyone could have such a fantastic day as I.

Peace, Love and Joy to all

 

moms and daughters and dog and cat and being snubbed and so much BS I am tired

selfish wish

that one of my family would come watch me race before i stop

writers block?

I dunno. just not feelin it. lots of local drama and I hate gossip

phases and feelings

sometimes it's hard and it's a big jumbled up mess

you don't think about parents needing you. you don't think about life changing events until they are here.

lately I've had Mom mad at me, a friend stop talking to me and a daughter tell me what for.

I'm tired and sad. I promised myself I wouldn't cry anymore after my divorce was final. maybe it's time

most days are good but today has ebbed

smiles and sunshine will return tomorrow I am fairly positive.

miss having an ear and shoulder sometimes though.


peace

Oct 30, 2011

Got to the venue in plenty of time, had all my stuff, pre-rode, registered, warmed up, felt great, lungs were good the whole time, mechanical about midway through, everyone passed me, I picked a few people off. Not my best day, but I felt like I was riding strong. Was third at the hole shot. This is CX. Someday I'd like to put together good lungs, good legs and no mechanicals. We'll see.

Lots of good racing today. The women are all getting stronger and faster. I love lining up with them. Good camaraderie out there for sure. Amazed at Niki, racing the Elite women's race as a warm-up for the Elite men's race. Something to aspire to.  in.my.dreams. 


Lots of good pics and vids out there from today. Hope I can check them all out tomorrow night.

Mom isn't happy "being shuffled". I don't blame her, but it's so obvious that she does not need to be alone day after day. I feel like we ended up on a good note tonight, hope she does too. 

Have a great week ahead! Next weekend is 3 days of racing then back here for  2 days of USGP Derby City cup.

peace

Storm the Greens tomorrow

I'd like to think there could be a home court advantage. But there are plenty of local ladies in my race. 

What I hope for: good lungs, best warm up yet, strength on the straightaways, guts on the hills and drops, and lots of painful fun.

It's been a full day. Course setup was great with many many people there to help out. It went well and by 3:00 people were able to get on the course. I got to see a few out of towners pre-riding as well, from Dayton and Cincy. It's a tough course to be sure. Hat's off to Bobrow for designing it.

Mom has gone to bed. Think it's time for me to shut down and crack the book for a while.

I don't have a costume for tomorrow, my only regret. Just not feeling creative.

Race well everyone! All the best to all of my CX and MTN bike buddies where ever you race/ ride tomorrow. Looks like Mother Nature is being kind once again and providing plenty of opportunity for some Vitamin D absorption.


peace

differing perspectives

I brought Mom to my place today for the week. We made a few stops; bank, grocery, Subway, drug store for her cigarettes. Carry in her things and grocerys, put grocerys away and begin to change into my kit. I sit down and eat half of my sandwich while she eats hers. She asks where I'm going to ride and I explain where the course/park is located (I've explained it many times). I told her that tonight is just an easy ride with the kids and I'll be home in no time. Tomorrow I will help setup the course with stakes and such and pre-ride again. Then race on Sunday. The whole time she is talking about how cold it is outside and do I have enough on.  Yes, Mom once I start pedaling I warm up quickly. Then she asks "what if it snows?" To which I respond; "this is cyclocross, we ride no matter the weather unless there's lightning. Mom I rode in the snow and ice last December in Bend." She gasps, shakes her head and goes to watch TV.

I have a late start leaving the house. I get to Eva Bandman and start looking for the group. Here they come so I jump on the end of their train. They've tweaked the course. I follow and notice only two kids are there but about 10 adults. They drop me, but I don't mind today is active recovery for an hour. Then I notice some of the course is different. They have changed it from Wednesday. So I try really hard to stay on for the next lap so I can see what's what. The changes seem to be for the better. Took out one place of possible trouble with two-way traffic, so it is safer. Changed one of the sand (more of a mound than a pit) to a longer and curved ride. I had a terrible time with it. We all rode it and rode it and rode it. Finally I change my gearing and I could make it all the way through. I made it through twice. But I was ready to cool down a bit and ride home by then. I'm sure when there's a lot of traffic most of us will be slugging our way through that sand, walking/running whatever it takes.

Farmer's market tomorrow, tweak my bike, setup course, pre-ride, fix a nice hot supper to be determined and get a good night's rest are all on tomorrow's agenda. I'd love to have Mom come watch me race, but she freezes sitting in the living room with her jacket on. Just not meant to be I think.

The weather forecast looks pretty good for the weekend. Race time will be cold, but I'm good with that. 

Side note, picked up my Cervelo today. I've borrowed a compact drive train so I can start training on some hills when I'm not training for CX. I have some mountains to climb in February. The goal is to improve climbing hills this winter so I can do a much better job on the mountain bike next spring and summer.

Have a wonderful weekend!

peace

STG = WOW

So Sunday is going to kick my butt BIG TIME. I still want to do the mtn bike race, but practicality is taking a front seat right now.

I went to CX practice tonight and got there early. Pre-rode a bit, especially the dowhill that makes me gasp a little, then there's the immediate run-up that I have no decent cardio for any kind of good performance. It's full of ups and downs plus two straightaways and LOTS of bumpiness. 

Kudos to Bobrow. The course is compact yet challenging. Two sand pits! Two sets of steps to run. 

I rode the "warm-up" lap with the RZ kids. They dropped me solid and my HR was at 172 for most of it, my max is 175 for goodness sake.  Then I get this flat tire. But it's not totally flat so I pump it up and wait for them to come around and catch on but the tire kept rolling so I went back and changed the tube. I missed a good workout tonight. I finally grabbed back on for the last two laps, flubbed the start of the first one and truly only got a good lap and a half total before I had to leave.

I ride to and fro practice. Doesn't make sense to drive as I live too close. It's about a fifteen minute ride home for me. Unless I'm totally whooped then it's twenty.  :-)

So I read this quote today and need to keep it handy when I get all in a funk about where I am with racing, etc. I hope it helps others keep a good perspective on life as well:

"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try." Beverly Sills 

Personally, I don't think I'll ever be doomed. I love to try new things. Sometimes I'm a scaredy cat like riding that downhill. But if I don't try I'll never know. I don't want doom. I'd rather fail. It's all about getting up anyway.

Love and peace

STG or MTB decisions decisions

No decision before Thursday, to be sure. Storm the Greens has some big challenges. The course is different than what we've been riding at Eva Bandman. It is CHALLENGING. with  a lot of sweeping turns and ups and downs. UPS and DOWNS. It is a lot of fun to ride. It will kick my big fat arse to make no mistake! 

I'm torn though. There is still a lot of CX to race between now and Jan 15 or so. Maybe I should continue this mini hiatus and do this mtn bike race on Sunday. It will rain Wednesday and Thursday here. Maybe more. The weekend will be very cool at my race time. No decisions only contemplation.

I rode the course for the first time tonight. I did 4 or 5 laps. It was supposed to be a recovery ride. I like the course a lot. I wish I had better running legs. But I can ride the climbs, the stairs might be another story. 

I have time to decide. 

Tonight has been such wonderful weather. Warm temps for sitting out doors. Sipping on a beer or two.

peace to you

Gratitude

daughters and sister and brother and mother and barking dog and black cat and pissed off friend and long time friends and new friends and cycling buddies and colleagues and faraway friends and cousins and son in law past and daughters friends and also their boyfriends and nieces and nephews and babies and blogging friends and health and song and laughter and love in many forms and so much more

so far so good

Mom had another eye injection today. All seems fine. Dr said she did well. Mom says she is an old pro as this is like 16 or more that she has had. Just trying to keep from having scarring on her good eye

its been interesting. I never knew I would have a curfew at age 53! ha ha. She turns in very early, but if I go out she will stay up waiting for me to get home. it is nice to have someone say "be careful" and ask how my ride was when I get home.

staying in tonight. cold winds are blowing and I'm just not up to a ride so will read and work and be a slug tonight.

peace

rode easy recovery, cough returned, nothing like I expected though

BloomingCX

Great course, beautiful weather, though a little warm quite windy and LOW humidity.

It's a fast course, very little technical, lots of off camber, gravel, a true roadie course. Should've fit me well. Eh, dry air made for plenty of friction which leads to wheezing and constricted airways. Oh, how I would love to suffer in mud and be able to breath! At least then when I'm almost last there's not a "sick excuse". 

Good people won/podiumed today. So happy to see all of these women do well. 

have a good week ahead! no CX racing next weekend, time to spend some quality time on the mtn bike maybe

peace

struggle

parents age, some fair better than others. some have health and mental capacity well beyond 80, others begin to suffer from physical ailments much sooner maybe as early as 30s or 40s and the there is the mental frailty that sets in

watching your parent(s) go through this is painful and no fun and so difficult. fear sets in then anger and so many other emotions and that's just mine. I can only imagine what my Mom is going through with losing her eyesight, not able to remember some things, dealing with halucinations.

then I watch friends stuggle with relationships. so many variations on a theme. and then I find myself being envious even when the relationship is less than desirable and most likely won't survive. 

I watch my children struggle and wish I could do more. but know they need to do most of this themselves for it to be meaningful and everlasting

struggle is what life is

smile when you can and then it doesn't seem quite so difficult


peace

wish too much

like knowing what's wrong with me so I can fix it

oh well

c'est la vie
 

Gun Club and sundries

A friend joined me for the ride to Miamisville (I think that's right). Up at 5 am on a Sunday morning and in the car by 6:30 to drive 2+hours for a 30 minute race. Yes people this is cyclocross madness! And I love it!

Gun Club is a gun club. There are shot gun shells and broken clay pigeons everywhere. Each race starts with a gun shot. It's unique and great fun! The course is always challenging. It mixes mtn bike hill climbing, bike handling skills and fast roadie straightaways. There is single track, double track, double sand pit, off camber, gravel, and this year just enough wet, greasy mud and grass to make things interesting. The Cat 4 women had a huge field of 34 women. Unheard of even last year. I had a decent (not wonderful) call up and when the gun went off I passed several women and was in 9th place as we passed the start/finish for the first time. I was riding well, breathing was good and legs felt great. Even the barriers were ok on the first lap. I had pre-ridden before the Men's Cat 4 master's and knew what to expect. The straight aways were big ring all out mashing, but going from gravel onto wet, slick grass was tricky. Had to slow down before the turns. I was feeling great, got to the 2 option creek and opted for the 1st turn. This was a sharp right so I dismounted and took my bike straight across the creek and kept running (ha ha) up the hill. This is a fairly massive runup. It was all chewed up and I wished I'd had my long toe spikes. I reached the apex and took my bike another 15 to 20 feet before mounting. Yeah. I didnt get clipped in, my butt didn't get on the saddle and I was moving downhill faster than I could control. Finally I got the bike stopped long enough to get on the saddle and go. By that time 12 women had passed me. So disappointing! I worked to get back in the game and I passed a couple of women. I worked extra hard on the straightaways but after the barriers et al I got to the wet and muddy back side and somehow slid out in a place that I wasn't too concerned about. More women passed me. By the time I got to the start/finish for the 3rd time to start my 3rd and final lap 2 single speeders passed me and I was pulled from the race. bummer

But it was a good day. I got to cheer on some friends in the Cat 4 master's and a lot of the kids in the Jr race.

We headed back early. I wanted to see my youngest, if at all possible. I was persistent and so happy to have a solid ten minutes or so to talk and get/give some good kisses and hugs.

I rode an easy recovery tonight. Ran into a few people at EB. One woman came over and talked for a few. She asked what happened on Sunday. Said her goal is to pass me. Wow, that was something i never expected to hear. Well she did pass me when I slid out and she got to do that 3rd and final lap.  good times  :)

special event tomorrow. My sis and i visited some assisted living places for my mom on Saturday. put a bark collar on Mom's dog. She doesn't bark much now. thank goodness. Not easy decisions to make. Lots of change. Some stress too. Thank goodness I ride a bike!

Some friends went down on a club ride yesterday. Two went to the hospital. Sending Hi-vibrations and much love their way

Enjoy these warm days Mother Nature has given us! 


peace

Focus

or be present, stay in the moment. I tend to drift more that I like to admit. When I do, things don't work out so well. I miss what someone is saying or maybe even that someone is interested. Saturday, I didn't use my fast acting inhaler (Proventil) 30 minutes before race time. BIG oops. I always take two puffs before a hard workout. Saturday morning KT says the announcer told the audience it was 37F at my start time. BRRRRR

So, being the mouth breather I am, suck in cold air like mad. By 3/4 into the first lap at GearFest one huge asthma attack hits me in the chest like a prize fighter. I could not get enough oxygen. I felt like a fish out of water, mouth gaping open trying to push out air so more would come in. I stopped, twice to just relax. I didn't quit, but I almost did. Then the old self motivation power talk kicked in. You can do this, you will not DNF. So what if you are DFL, this is CX. Your lunds are going to burn no matter what. I was completely shocked that I was not DFL. I hope I learn this lesson. It seems to repeat too often for me. I carry at least 2 or 3 at all times. They don't work if you don't use them!

The course at GearFest was new. Flat, with some off camber, but just mostly a flat, roadie course. 

I learned my lesson for Sunday. When Sunday arrived I was glad that I carry all those spares.Two friends did not have theirs. There was a light frost and the temp was 36F at start time. They were welcome to use mine.

John Bryan was my first CX race ever in November 2009. A memory that will stay with me for a very long time. This year they changed the start to a grass, false flat, that slowly rose uphill for maybe 600 yards (my distance estimate is probably WAY off) Previous years saw a start on the road, still uphill but pavement is more forgiving than spongy grass. I had a nice effort on the hole shot, maybe 2nd? My riding was good, not lightning fast, but good handling. My running/barriers stinks. That needs bigtime work. One competitor said "on your left" at one point, just as I was accelerating out of a turn. I kept going and went into the next turn. Eventually, she passed me on an uphill straightaway behind registration, but I wasn't going to give it to her. I finished 6 of 11 or 12. I coughed a bit and my quads were screaming from riding that false flat 3 times. I was hungry so changed and went to find waffles. I missed most of the kids races but got some podium pics. They are so much fun to watch ad cheer for. 

I missed most of the rest of the races, because I decided I might as well jump in the Elite Master's women's race. I was there, I wasn't totally spent. It would be a good workout. HAH and it was. I started at the very back. Didn't feel too bad about the hole shot, wound up some where between halfway and 2/3s. But man, that took most of my matches and my quads were going to scream for the duration. This was fine. I just kept getting further and further behind, but coached myself along. "You can suffer through this, its only 40 minutes". The men started lapping me on my third lap. I did not want to be a factor in anyone elses race result. I got to the sand pit and rode it, until then end when my front wheel hit the end of the pit with a thud and I fell to the left into the tape. My left calf muscle seized and I couldn't get up for what seemed like minutes. Men were passing me like crazy. At long last I get up, get on my bike and take off. I rode as hard as I could to the finish and signaled I was done. It was only seconds when Niki passed through after that.

A lot of people screamed and cheered for me in the Elite race. And it helped. I've had several people say some very nice things about me jumping in that race. It's an extra $10, I was there and needed more than 30 minute race for my legs. I got it. My legs were still unhappy tonight during the recovery ride with RZ kids. Those kids drop me even on recovery rides!!!  but they and their parents are great. I'm so glad I can ride with them. I learn plenty from them. Yesterday one of them asked me about the Elite race. Before I could say the first word, she says "I don't want to hear you say anything negative about yourself". So I said, I am crazy for racing that one, but I like crazy. and I do like crazy. I don't want to be all conservative and safe all of the time. I'm riding and racing bikes and loving life.

I need to figure out how to keep focus and be present on a more regular basis. I don't want to miss out on meeting that special person because I'm ditsy.  :)  

I wonder how Sunday will go, and if I am brave enough to do another double race day.  Have to see how it unfolds I reckon.

Enjoy your week!

peace


p.s. A big shout out to all of my women friends that race each weekend. You ROCK!!! I love cheering them on, even when I'm in the same race. It's exciting to see the numbers grow at the startline. good times

Not the brightest bulb on the tree

I have been working and working to make this deadline. Nights and weekends, ugh. Coming down to the wire I took the last two days off the bike. Legs were NONE too happy about that. Today's program was recovery, but I missed the last two days of efforts! I haven't had enough mileage on any ride lately IMO. Not since the fire road ride. So I too off about 4:30 and rode to 62 and Waterline Rd and back. Getting there felt great! I rode the sidewalk on the bridge. That was a new experience, just don't look down!  I rode my superx with knobbies. The rear tire was flat but held air when I pumped it up and didn't think much about it.

I turned around and came down the hill. Couldn't pic up too much speed. Once I got back to Utica Pike I saw two deer just before the 4 way intersection. I snapped a pic, but was too slow an they disappeared into the woods.

 Once I started back my left calf cramped up. I shook it out, kept the bike in the small chain ring kept going. It was a beautiful day, mid 70s and sunny. Tail wind all the way out Cross and head wind all the way back until I crossed the bridge.  34.24 miles and I was s.l.o.w. but I needed the time to think. Lot's going on these days. 

Friends having babies while other friends pass to the other side. Family things continuing and I am blessed to be able to spend time with my family and friends. I am one lucky woman.

Off to Dayton for 2 days of racing this weekend. I read it is going to cool down. ;-)

enjoy your weekend!
peace

Indy CX double weekend plus

Brookside was as good as ever. They made a few changes, all to the good. The concrete steps are a mainstay and I still am not prepared for running or climbing. How do I fit this into my day/week? The start is uphill on the pavement. I worked hard to gain ground from the back. Since I didn't race the first weekend I was behind everyone else that did. I'm not positive, but think I was somewhere around 6 or 7 in the hole shot (maybe 10). There was a nice off camber section that was longish with a nice left hand turn uphill. Somewhere along this (I think at the turn) a cyclist in front of me hit her brakes, she didn't stop but slowed quite a bit. I was too close and bumped into her rear wheel. As is customary, the cyclist in front is unscathed. I however, flip. My chain falls to the outside of my chainring and by the time I get up and get the chain back on, the last place cyclist is now about 400 yards ahead of me. For about 30 seconds I was so dejected. Almost ready to give up. Then I start talking to myself, as I do and begin to pick up the pace. Now, mind you this is the beginning of the race. It starts to rain, ever so lightly. I'm not sure how long it takes, but eventually I pass 3 people and wind up not dead last. So, I won!  I didn't quit, I raced hard. I worked very hard to make up as much ground as I could. 

One of my friends came in 2nd in the Mens' Cat 4 Master's. I got to cheer him on some and snap a photo or two at the start. I took some video throughout the day and I cheered on everyone that I could once I changed and put my bikes up in the van. There is just something about being at a CX race. Cheering and heckling, watching everyone else suffer just like you did during your race.

My phone died while taking video. I jumped in the van after the last race and drove to the venue for Sunday. St. Mary's @ Fort Harrison State Park. I paid to get in the park and drove around until I found what I thought was the area for the race. I put on a dry/clean kit and started riding around. I saw some spray paint on the grass, but couldn't figure it out. Then I see some single track. I start riding it. There's about 3.5 miles of it. It was fun, flowy with some technical areas not well suited for me and my cross bike. When I come back out the guys are staking the course. They are all very nice and happy to let me pre-ride. One of them even asks me to ride the double track/fire roads and let them know how it is. More rain is predicted overnight. I said I thought I would be fine, hard and challenging. They left it in.  I leave and find a hotel. Spent too much on it, but I didn't care. I had been up since 5 and stood too long at the race. I needed elevation and sleep.

St Marys was so much fun. It was definitely a power course, almost completely flat save one area in the double track. It rained all night. Everything was saturated. When I got to the venue, preregistered, prepped and pre-rode I discovered the course was already different from last night. The Cat 4 Master's Men go off at 9:30 in advance of the Women's race @ 10:15. The course changed even more once they raced. There were many places where the grass was mud, the double track had been best to take the high side earlier, but now riding the low side with as much speed and power as you could muster was the best. I fell three times in this race, once on the double track. That is where I think I bent my rear der (again). After that fall I could not shift back to my big ring. I could not get the speed or power necessary in my small chain ring. I lost too much ground. I wound up finishing better over all on Sunday than Saturday. I need to stop falling down!  

I spoke to the LBS about more aggressive tires for mud. I am not ready to spend that much money to still not podium for socks.  Ha ha   Okay, I know I'm not going to win cash racing CX. Even if I did it wouldn't pay for new tires. We'll see how this weekend goes and how the weather is too. If we keep getting more rain I may need to do something so I don't slip slide all over the place. 

Mom is at my Sis's place this week. A nice respite til the weekend. The dog seems to be better. She's not barking at everything that moves anymore. She still chases the cat given the chance.

I came to a realization today (slow learner) that some people will never be a friend. Or maybe a friend like I want is a better way to say it. I don't control anything in this world. Not even my own thoughts, though I try to be better at that. Some  people are friendly, maybe just because it's good business. 

I should've done my holeshot workout tonight. Actually, I should've stayed home and worked. But I needed something different so I took a long walk. Almost 5 miles. It was a beautiful evening. Roses are still blooming, squirrels are gathering nuts for winter. So many people were outside; walking, running, riding bikes, pushing strollers, etc. I watched couples hand in hand. I saw a little one fresh with learning to walk, but instead was running on tip toes in front of her Mom. Dogs walking their humans (that's what really happens you know). It was pleasant and peaceful. I let the hurt from my realization earlier fall away. I sat and had a nice greek salad half way through my walk, then came home. I saw such a beautiful evening sky. Here it is. The clouds look like the opening is heart shaped.

I am filled with a huge jumble of emotions right now. But need to get through this work deadline of Thursday. Then there's a double weekend in Dayton. 

I hope everyone is taking time to breath in some fresh air and enjoy as much of nature as possible.

peace to you

what to write

I Love my Mom. Family comes first. It's challenging. I Keep reminding myself this is not about me. But I am thankful for my brother and sister. They give me a respite now. 

This weekend is #2 and #3 of the Ohio Valley cyclo cross series (OVCX) .  There are some very fast and strong women in the cat 4 35+. I'm still realistic. as long as I don't DNF and hopefully not DFL life will be good.

I have two friends who went down this morning. Both injured due to an unleashed dog. Their seasons may well be over for 2011. Sending them the best of vibrations and much love and healing thoughts.

peace to all

full moon this morning

Day was full of conversations, some of them were aural which is always a big treat. Too many are still written, some of the important ones too.

I am perplexed about things. But will see how it all plays out.

So much to do, so little time  ha ha

"Forget what you give and remember what you receive"   good advice


peace

Huber's Applecross - day #2

They reversed the course and made some additional modifications. I pre-rode 2 laps before the Men's Cat 4 race. It would be challenging to be sure.

After Saturday's race I took too long to eat. Wound up at ValuMarket hungry and bought veggies and things to take Sunday. Also picked up some sushi for dinner. yum  I slept 9 hours. Kept hitting the snooze.

The lineup was a bit different some people from Saturday didn't race and new people showed up. They started the single speeds, then the Cat 3/4 women's open then the Cat 3/4 women's 35+. The lap times would be set based upon the first, fastest lap. One of the single speed guys set the pace and we did 4 laps as opposed to 3 from the day before.

This was a fun and challenging course. It was all about power and some technical skill. I need more power to ride that darned run-up. We all ran it in this race (I don't know about the SS because they were too far in front) When I came around the end of the first lap and saw 3 laps to go my heart wound up in my throat for a bit. Halfway through the lap I caught my composure and second wind. I put the bike in the big ring everychance I had. I felt great coming back down out of the orchard, around the pond. I went airborne each lap just before the sweeping downhill which was yesterday's run-up.

I got smart and dismounted on the right side of the bike at the run-up. This prevented me from falling across the tape like a turtle.  ;)  I ran the sand pits today. While my running and cardio stink, it was better than expending extra energy trying to ride the fluffy sand. I must get this running and dis/remounting going. I also need more power and less weight and a newer engine. ha ha ha

It was a fun weekend. I ended up 5th on Sunday after a 7th place finish on Saturday. It's not a bad way to start the season. I had to laugh, one of the ladies I raced against made a few comments. All with the best of intentions. But she said to me, "Sherri they need a category for women in your age group". And then "what've you been doing to get so fast?"  To which I responded, "just wait, I'll be kicking your butt in December."  all in good fun though

I stayed and watched the rest of the races. Took some video too. It's always great fun to race and then watch everyone else suffer. Their races are longer but they have better skills and are faster too. I keep watching these cyclists ride the run-up and I just wish I had that kind of power in my legs. I will keep working on that.

I was exhausted by the time I got in. A friend and I went straight to dinner. She and I were both starving. I got home, took a hot bath and was in bed before 9:30. I think I was too tired to stay asleep though. Woke up about 12:30 for an hour, then sleep was sporadic and a migraine ensued. Might've been too much sun. I was a little crispy around the edges. ;)  

The videos show good things, but also have my voice. I hate to hear me. I sound like such a hick. Cheering and heckling all of those guys. It's nice to hear your name as you suffer. I know I pedal harder when I hear people pulling for me.

I'm off next weekend from racing. Sunday will be family day. Missing the first of OVCX at FishstiCX but family comes first.

The authorities shut down one of our three bridges across the Ohio river over the weekend. We now have traffic catasrophe if you need to cross. I hope if you are one of these caught in the mess that you are able to find a solution/alternative.

peace to all 

1st CX race of 2011 is in the books

Huber's Applecross Day 1 was fantastic. Tough course, yet fun. Weather was beautiful, though warmer than I'd hoped and drier too.  ;) 

One of my very best friends just bought a CX bike last Sunday, practiced all week and did her first bike race ever today. I'm so very proud of her. She did great! 

There were 9 women registered for the 3/4 35+ women's race, 8 toed the line. There were 3 under 35 Cat 3/4 women. The best part of my performance was that I got the hole shot. I enjoyed the race, as much as you can enjoy a CX race. But fell in the sand pit once, slid out on the long off-camber section once, and fell for the last time on the 3rd lap at the run-up. I rode it 2/3 or more of the way and just couldn't keep it going. Dismounted on the wrong side and fell to my left across the tape on my back like a turtle. Bike on top, head downhill feet uphill.  ha ha I started laughing and couldn't breathe and couldn't get the bike off of me.

Tomorrow!!! They are going to reverse the course and make a few changes. I'm sure it'll be tough.

Best part of the day is all of the camaraderie amongst all of the women. Such a good feeling.  Next best was seeing so many people I've not seen since last CX season. Good people all.

Time for bed, I am beat

peace 

Yippee! 1st cyclocross race of the year tomorrow

but I'm fairly tentative about it. Training is slow to get together. BUT I am psyched to get to see all of these great people I've not seen since last season!!!

One of my very good friends is up to do her first race tomorrow. She will rock this race. All she needs to do is chill and focus.

I'm thrilled to sleep in my bed again for a few days. My sis came and took Mom for a few days. Life is good.

So, it's almost a full moon. I'm feeling all giddy. Like maybe I should do something outrageous before the weekend is over.

I'm slightly disappointed that my daughter is the only person that has noticed my new do. Eh, its cool. 

To all of my friends racing this weekend: kick some CX Ass!!!! and drink a beer when you are done.

peace

Riding in the rain

just riding in the rain
What a glorious feelin'
I'm happy again.
I'm laughing at clouds.
So dark up above
The sun's in my heart
And i'm ready for love.


So I've plagiarized, but I rode through the parks today and LOVE riding in the rain. It was anywhere from a mist to a steady light rain with some drizzles thrown in for good measure.


It's cyclocross season and these cooler temps are lovely. Low 60s, I wore my short sleeved skinsuit and a windbreaker and felt good. I had my headband on so my ears were dry. But everything else was soaked. Wool socks keep your feet warm even if they are wet.


Makes me wonder what the weekend races will be like. Rain is predicted throughout and it's been a mist to steady rain since night before last. 


SHOULD BE FUN!!!!


Enjoy your Friday everyone


peace

It was a good day

when I look back on it in total. Started with waking up at 3:00 and I was awake for a while. First time I've heard jets flying overhead. They were close and back to back to back. I slept in, I decided why not. Last day of my "holiday" (time away from work, mostly). 

Mom and I discussed her meds. She said I put the wrong thing in her nighttime container for yesterday. I'd gone out and wasn't here when she took it and went to bed. Minor altercation but easy enough. We went to see the eye doctor for a check-up. Everyone was very nice. I asked the doc a number of questions. He can't tell her that she can not drive. However, he stated that she shouldn't. We all have known this, mom included. It's time but won't be pleasant, to be sure.

The afternoon was quiet. We both napped. I answered emails and gave some instructions in preparation for tomorrow's return to work. I'm snowed under at the moment. Tomorrow we go to Mom's  GP for a follow up from last week's visit. See how her labs turned out. I'm very hopeful about tomorrow!

Tonight I went to CX practice at RRCC for the first time this year. I missed the first two.  :(  Just as I predicted those kids kicked my butt! But I had so much fun chasing after them. At one point I thought my heart might blow up. It didn't. HR ran higher than it has for quite sometime. No spills tonight. I would've lost more time if I'd dismounted. Next week though! My legs are very tired and very happy. My calves are tight. My quads are sore. I love this feeling! I'm also thrilled that my breathing is good. No CX cough, yet. The temps were around 60 and a light mist fell. It was perfect for short sleeves and shorts doing hot laps. I love these people. I love this atmosphere. 

Mom retired to bed before 8:30, I may head that way myself soon. Six am start to work will be a shocker to be sure.

peace

Contradiction

I am energized yet weary. Elated yet in despair. Anxious though at peace. Mad however full of love

Barriers!

Temps have dropped. 90s on Saturday, 60s today and breezy. Everyone showed up with arm and leg warmers on today at CX practice. Well, everyone but me. I rode to practice and wore my windjacket. One I did a warmup lap I was nice and toasty. This was a ladies practice. Great group of people! And 2 guys with lots of patience and experience and helpful drills and tips. 

Breathing is slowly getting better. Weather has to play a part. Rain yesterday should've knocked down some of the ragweed pollen. 

One of my good friends bought a CX bike yesterday. I took her to RRCC and showed her the course. She came to practice today and Rocked It! She didn't even take a spill. I did. I was scab free long enough  haha

hope everyone had a great holiday!

peace 

ps, the better version was lost by blogger. where I went into detail about barriers, and stairs and such. got frustrated and didn't feel like trying to recapture it. I'm lame. blegh

too much stuff lately. I really wish I didn't wish so much that I could take a real vacation. 

Ha ha, life has it's way

of turning out for the best.  Might even turn out the way you want, but not on your terms. One thing I know, I have no control over fate. but despite my attempts sometimes, just sometimes life happens the way I would have it happen.  Other times, I concede it happens the way it should in spite of my wishes.  And the rest, maybe I'm not so wise after wall.

My Mom is  with me for a while. She has macular degeneration. I would be scared and cantankerous too if that was happening to me. We can now move forward with doing what is necessary to get her closer and help her be more secure and safe.

There's lots of other stuff going on too. But this isn't the proper forum for it. Just know family always comes first. But that doesn't mean anything more than I must let it unfold. 

CX is underway!!!  A friend bought her first CX bike today. We went to RRCC and rode the course a couple of times. This should be the best year yet racing CX!!!

peace to everyone

it's just all too personal

Day 1+ and counting

We survived a full day + , Mom and I. No knock down, drag outs so far.  She did manage to lock us out of the main bathroom. I have no keys to interior doors. So I had my first lesson (self administered) on how to disassemble a door knob. Now, I need to get it back on. Well, we can wait until I get a key before I do that.

The dog loves to bark. I'm good with that when she is outside in the back yard. Not so much  when she is in the house.

I'm glad I got out to ride tonight. We both needed the space.  :)

I can only wonder what tomorrow will bring. Doesn't matter. We'll live it, survive it, and hopefully enjoy most of it!!!

Family is where it's at.

Many friends are going through lots of life as well. Much love to you all.

peace

Facts of life

Nothing stays the same and nothing lives forever.

When my ex and I divorced, I took Socks and he kept Bastian. Mostly due to lifestyle. Socks would be happy indoors most anywhere. Bastian had always been able to be out and run, chase small animals and bugs. We adopted Bastian from the office head at my place of business in fall of 1999. She had "adopted" five pups who had lived all summer at the common dock on the Ohio river where she lived. She said they had been born in May. It was November and getting cold, the mother dog was long gone. I took my youngest daughter and she chose Bastian. The lady had named him already, but Amber insisted. His name is from "the never ending story".

He was a great dog. (I know, people always think their dog is the best in the universe). He only had two accidents in the house that I can remember. The first was when he hadn't been with us long, maybe at Christmas time. He had gotten into a bowl of hershey kisses.. He pooped chocolate foil for a day or so, everywhere. It's a wonder it didn't kill him. Chocolate is NOT good for pets. After that, he never ate anything he wasn't supposed to. He didn't beg (too much). If it looked like he was, we would just say "no begging' and he would go lay down on his pillow.

There was a time he was in trouble often. All because we would get up in the morning and the newspapers would be scattered all over the floor in the family room. Late one night my husband had insomnia and was in the front room at the computer. All of a sudden my ex heard a commotion. It was newspapers flying. He could see around the corner and the dog was on his pillow, head on the floor between his paws, looking up with big eyes. As my husband got up and quietly walked around the corner and looked at the couch he could see the culprit. Socks was standing on the couch, on top of those newspapers facing the back of the couch, kicking newspapers and fast as she could. She saw my ex and jumped straight up about 4 feet and took off, not to be seen for quite a while. I think she lost one of her lives that night. We all owed Bastian huge apologies, since we'd been disciplining him morning after morning. We all felt so bad.

He loved those "Beggin strips". He would get two in the evening. We could leave the bag sit out all day, open, on the floor and he would never touch it. But as soon as one of us would reach for it he would dance and dance. 

I saw him several months ago when I went to get the last of my things out of the house. He was looking older and slower, grey whiskers and no longer jumped on me when I walked up. I said my good-byes to him again, figuring I'd not see him again. I was right. He got sick, very quickly. My ex took him to the vet yesterday morning and they took x-rays. He had a tumor that was putting large amount of pressure against his lungs. He couldn't lay down. After taking some time to think about it, he had Bastian put to sleep. He sat and held him through the procedure until he fell asleep and relaxed. He then took him home and buried him. 

Everything has it's time and place. I wish I could talk to my ex. I know how hard it was. We'd had quite a few pets over the years and gone through this together. Bastian led a good dog's life. As my oldest wrote: "bastian, you were the best damn dog in the world and i'm gonna miss you so much. you had the best life i've ever seen for a dog, total freedom to do whatever you wanted; chasing bunnies, roaming as far as you wanted, making friends with every person and animal you met, getting to lick all the people plates after every meal. i hope the afterlife treats you just as well in doggy heaven. rest in peace old friend. i love you."
  
My oldest and I went and brought Mom to stay with me for a few days while my siblings and I figure out what to do. She needs a lot more attention and company than she has had. She needs to not drive anymore. We need to make sure she takes her meds properly, throws away spoiled food, eats well, all those necessities. She has a dog. Darcy likes to bark. Now I have a cat and a dog living here along with Mom. 


Life takes it's twists and turns. Life is good and bumpy. It's much like the good ole wooden roller coasters. Never a dull moment, to be sure. I'll figure out training and stuff later.




peace

First mtn bike season is in the books - racing-wise that is

splurged on a room and sushi for dinner. Went to bed by 10:30, was awake 11:30, 12:30; 2:00, 3:30 - 4:15 and finally slept (with alarm and snooze) til 7:30. I had a nice breakfast of 2 pancakes, scrambled eggs, oatmeal and hot tea. Took my time with putting everything back in the car and arrived in time to sign in and click off some pics of the Cat Pro/1/2 start.


Went back to the van and relaxed for 30 before kitting up and warming up. I was surprisingly calm. No jitters or butterflies. I just wasn't going to get all bent for this last race. The start was crowded and we kept moving back to give room. All Cat 3 men waves went, then Juniors, then Clysdales and Cat 3 women then Intro men and women. That is a LOT of people just minutes between starts. For the most part it seemed to work well.


I was shocked when I got the hole shot. The season 1st place lady was behind me and wanted to pass, but there just wasn't a place on the narrow single track. I gave way as soon as the course allowed. However, I was not going to stop. It was my race, too. I felt great and stayed in a big gear most of the race, except for a few places. The drops were no problem. My only issue was having to slow down on some of the 90 - 120 degree turns. Eventually 5 women passed me along with a few men. I'm good with that though. I rode hard and didn't fall/crash. 


This was such a fun season. Lots of learning, new GREAT people and new places were discovered. 


I'm whooped. I need to get my arse in gear for CX now. No more laziness! I have my room for Madison in January. And I'm thinking about a camp in Spain in Feb. We'll see how it goes.


I'm happy and tired. I should sleep tonight. Full week of work before a nice long weekend for vacation and the last holiday of summer. The weather has been spectacular as well.


I hope all of you have enjoyed this weekend as much as I have!




peace

Town Run the last DINO of 2011 is tomorrow

and so is my last mtn bike race of the year. There's one more, but I've got a family commitment that is more dear and important to me. 

Seems like it took me forever to get everything done today. Get out of bed was the most time consuming. ha ha   Laundry, mowed (weed-eated) the grass, garbage, dishes, packing clothes, packing the van and too much farting around. Made one last phone call to my travel buddy but she didn't come with. Had a few stops to make along the way and hit I-65 northbound.

2 hour drive wasn't bad at all. the entrance to the park is TEENY and I almost missed it. There were quite a few people riding. The weather is perfect! No humidity, mid 80s, nice breeze. Most of the course is in the trees and is nice and cool. There are a couple of places though that are in an open field. Since my race begins around 12:12 tomorrow, those places will be quite warm. 

I'm so glad I pre-rode. No surprises for tomorrow! 

I splurged and got a room for the night. Then I found a Japanese restaurant and ordered sushi takeout. I wonder how many from home will show up for the race? I know there's a big MotoGP race here tomorrow, too. 

I'm tired. Ready to put my feet up and relax a while before hitting my pillow.

peace

Wondering what it could be

and deciding what it's not. This stupid asthma episode. I've decided is due to ragweed, because it happens every year. I've decided it's not the clothes I'm storing that are permeated with stale cigarette smoke and it's not the guest cat, Cocoa who is visiting for a while.

Wheezed and coughed and choked all day while working. My legs weren't happy and I was getting stiff, so I decided to get out and ride. Ha ha ha by the time I got changed into my kit, tires pumped and water bottles filled I was ready to sit for a short rest. I am so glad I didn't. Instead I was determined to ride, even if it was around the block. I stayed in easy easy gears and rode through the parks. Hogan's fountain hill was the worst but better than Monday's ride. 


The whole time I was riding I was thinking about the children with Cystic Fibrosis and asthma  and the people with COPD and emphysema and I am thankful I am ok. I can afford my inhalers and the Advair because I have health insurance. I thought about the survey results I read today saying nearly 10% of mid-sized or big employers expect to stop offering health coverage to workers after insurance exchanges begin operating in 2014 as part of Obama's health care overhaul. Maybe I should start saving now. Because I know what the retail prices are for my breathing meds. Sure won't be buying anymore bikes or bike gear if I'm spending $500 a month on drugs.


So yeah, I'm grateful for what I have and even more thankful that I stopped smoking when I did. Did you know that smoking contributes to a lot of things but some studies say it is directly related to macular degeneration. My Mother and Aunt are going blind with that one. They were life long smokers.


I'm no prolific writer and I definitely don't wax poetic. I have some friends that have the best writing styles, full of humor and wit or sarcasm. Me, I think most of this is like a journal. There's so much I'd like to write, but need to protect family and friends so I hold back. 


I think too much and worry about things I have no control over. I feel change coming again. It feels big. Not sure what it is or when it'll happen. In the mean time I'll keep trying to stay in tune with my friends and family. I want to be there for them, if they want me. 


Right now my lungs feel more clear than the last 3 days. Maybe I'll get to race that last DINO on Sunday after all. It wont be pretty. Most likely DFL. But that's not the point. The point is doing it and not being afraid to fail. Because not doing it is worse.


peace to all of you and yours
much love your way

so much on my mind

so much to think about. Walked 4 blocks to grab a bite to eat. Stupid air had me wheezing before I got there. Walking home my ribs were sore, probably from coughing over the last two days. Sure can't ride if I can't walk. 

It's cool though. Other things are occupying my time. Hours and hours of work. Family tasks. Touching base with friends.

I have gotten such good news lately. Babies being born, friends getting engaged, family members having breakthroughs, friends finally able to finish healing and start to do the things they want to do. 

So what if I didn't do first cx tonight. Lots left to attend. Someone posted up a movie, Blackthorn. Its a western and looks like a good one. I think Dad would've enjoyed it. Thinking I might go see it. solo  Never done that before, reckon it's time. 

To my friends who are battling something right now, keep up the fight and take care of you. Get the rest you need and allow your body to heal. Damn, I know it's difficult to be patient.

I'm counting on the air quality to improve and the temps to start to drop. One last mtn bike race on Sunday and I don't want to miss it if I can help it.

much love to you all and peace

wheeze

ragweed reached 9.9 levels today.  the wheeze has arrived. before the first official CX practice.  my chest is full of congestion.  very grateful it's not infection.  just clear mucous.  it makes very odd sounds when I take deep breaths.  i don't like it.  hoping the benadryl WV brought to me dries it up and puts me out.  tried to do some strength exercises.  need to breathe for that.  tried some yoga.  that requires oxygen intake as well.  grateful i got 10 hours sleep last night.  with no real exertion sleep may not come.

tomorrow is a new day.  first day of CX practice in da Ville.  it will be fun for many to be sure. maybe a bright bandana will help.


peace

Season of dry nostrils is over

It happened this week. I'm riding on the road early on and my nose begins to drip. It's clear so it's allergy, but annoying. I'd hoped maybe we could last until October. HA HA so stupid to think that. I'm not sure what is triggering. Woke up in the wee hours of Friday morning with sore throat, fever and ear ache which is NOT what needs to happen. Took some thieves oil and all was clear by mid afternoon.

Got out early this morning and rode mtn bikes with two friends @ Waverly. Such fun time it was. They are much more experienced and a lot stronger than I am, but were sweet and either hung back or waited for me when I trailed behind. It was good because I push myself a lot harder when I ride with others. There were a couple of times though I just had to get off the bike. Asthma kicked in about 2/3 of the way through. 

But I have to say that I was feeling so much more confident doing the downhill portions and was totally loving the whoop-di-doos on the newest trail. We did it twice. :-D  

I gotta figure out what this trigger is. CX practice starts this week and I've been doing drills already. Started walking/running too. I guess the CX cough will be back before I know it.

There are two more mtn bike races that I hope to do. We'll see how that goes. Lots of life stuff happening with family. Big pow wow with my sibs tomorrow. Ah, never a dull moment! Probably a good thing there's not any dating going on right now. All in the grand scheme I reckon.  

Sounds like 2 of my fellow Rogues put out good efforts at Fool's Gold with one coming in third in single speed division. Another friend qualified to go to the 2012 World Championships  in New Zealand during his race today at the USA Triathlon National Championships. And one of the younger Rogues took 1st place at her triathlon today as well! Love to celebrate good things about good people.

Hope all of you are finding things to celebrate too!

peace out

random

today was not a good day to work from home. The water co. decided to replace the lead (yes lead which is poisonous to the human species) with copper lines. Jack hammers at 9am were most pleasant. Thank goodness my first call was at 11, with my boss, and they were still creating havoc! 

Behind at work and more urgent requests come at all hours. But one PM tells me that one project is highest/er priority than all others. O. K.

Didn't ride today, should have most likely, but didn't. Hands and feet hurt all night and most of the day. eh

Walked to Hammerheads for dinner. Joined a neighbor and had a nice visit. Walking home I noticed the birds. YEP, they are migrating south already. :(  bummer but it's time. I'm really over the 90s but we'll see them for at least a few more weeks.

It's disappointing when friends don't respond, interact, leave all communication to the written word. Some days I fantasize about unplugging and then I get scared because I'll lose all contact with others.


Yes, randomness. too many thoughts. 

Solitude is not a bad thing. I just need to discover the good qualities it carries.

Serenity and companionship are my goals. Someday
   

peace to all you jokers

Nicknames

Everyone in the town I grew up in had one. Everyone it seemed except me. (yes, that's an exaggeration because there were others without). Thing was, as far as I knew, everyone was cool with it. Whenever you got one it was like being christened (I was brought up baptist and we didn't do that). There were so many and my memory fades, but Goose and White eye are two I remember. 

But it's when there is a nickname that's said and maybe used regularly without the person's knowledge that things go awry. Seems this happens more often than not and it can be so hurtful when the person learns of it. 

I always wished I'd earned a nickname. I was envious of those that had. It seemed to me to be such a term of endearment, but personal and attached to the individual. A couple of friends have christened me with their versions in the last year or so: Crash Monkey, and Tumbling Thompson. But I was the first person they said it to and I was pleasantly honored. Now, I'm not proud of the fact that I fall down so much on my bike. But, they both seem to fit and are used by those two people with the best of intentions.

There's my soapbox for the week. Think before you use a name or adjective you aren't ready to say to someone's face, k?

peace out y'all