15 July, 2007

I'll be saying good-bye to a longtime friend about a week from now

I'll be saying good-bye to a longtime friend about a week from now
This friend has been by my side since I was fourteen. Been with me through every bad and good time in my life. This will be one of the most difficult things for me to do, but it has to be done. The relationship is bad for me. It's holding me back. I've tried to say good-bye before. This time I hope I'm successful.
My friend is tobacco, cigarettes in particular, though I've enjoyed a cigar or two over the years. Most people don't understand addiction. The physical part is very real, but so is the emotional part. Not to mention I have this oral fixation on top of it.
My doctor told me that he's seen even the most committed of smokers quit with this new drug (maybe not so new now) Chantix. It's taken me 3 months since my doctor's visit to come to this decision. I've known I should do this for quite some time now. So easy to rationalize and put it off.
So if any of my friends see me walking around with something hanging out of my mouth over the next weeks/months I'll have to see if I can come up with a funny explanation.
One of the biggest worries I have is gaining weight. But you see, I've gained too much since the first of the year while I was smoking! I started riding my stationary bike a couple of times a week about a month ago. This past week I've been riding 20 minutes every day. The intention here is to; lose weight, have something to focus on beside smokings, hopefully correct some of the damage I've done over the last 35 years of my life.
Starting to think about the next few weeks. Maybe I can get one of the real bikes around here working well, buy a helmet and start riding around my neighborhood. I have all these friends and colleagues that are runners. I just don't think my bones and joints can handle the impact. I also don't want to spend all of my excersizing in the basement!
Wish me luck and try not to laugh when you see me with a pen, sucker, or anything else hanging out of my mouth. Just congratulate me that it's not a cigarette.