21 June, 2012


Is what you make with lemons, right?

I keep working at finding the best parts of not so great things. Sometimes it works and sometimes I could do better.

A friendship that has waned. I see this person has made wonderful new friendships and is having great times with them. My heart twinges and I get sad. But all in all I'm quite happy for them. Good things should happen to good people. 

Training is in a state of blegh.Maybe I was just riding too too much. Or maybe I wasn't focusing on the right things. I knew I didn't want to race the short entry level 5 mile in DINO this year. So, this has put me in the back of the results. I knew this was going to happen. Doesn't make me any happier though. Brown County is a beautiful place, but the race start is tough. It definitely separates the true climbers from the rest of the field and strings everyone out along a mile of pavement before finally arriving at the single track. The day was beautiful and temps were about perfect. Two hours after this race though I lost about 20 minutes. We know I didn't have a stroke. We don't know exactly why this occurred. I was not to do any "strenuous" activity for at least a week. So, I behaved for the most part. I went with two friends and rode French Lick on Tuesday before that race. I just can't keep up with those two. No matter how much I push and will myself this body is not going to go that fast. We are in drought conditions and the course is full of loose rock and dust. I decided not to race the night before and threw away my $20 entry fee. Now it's hot and I've lost my mojo. There's a race in 9 days and I just don't know if I'll be ready. 

With lack of racing and training I'm not burning the calories I should be. This needs to change! 

Still nothing on the employment front. I'm fairly certain there is one company I have no desire to work, ever. I keep spending hours each day applying. It's a frustrating thing. Some places never send anything when a job has been filled. One local company does send emails though. I'd rather know I didn't get a job than wonder for weeks and weeks. Then there are some places that have posted jobs since February and they are still open. Makes me wonder if they are actively recruiting. I know I haven't gotten a call for phone screen at this one company. I know something will happen in good time. This is just a slow period.

I had another birthday this week. Now I will be in the next age group for Cyclocross nationals and worlds in January/February if I compete. Since the season spans end/beginning of years your racing age is as of Dec 31 the year Worlds are being held. 54 isn't so old. At least I don't think it is. I'll be racing with the 55-59 year olds now.

I've spent too much time wondering worrying about lack of romance. It's a silly thing to waste time and thought on I've decided. I never thought what it would be like to go for so long when I was younger and married. Now I realize it's been good to have this time with myself. I'm learning a lot. I think I'm growing some too.

I have lots of friends and make new ones each day. It's time to get back on my bike and ride I think. This is where I have the most fun and feel the best.

Along with my birthday always comes summer solstice. Even though the days will shorten they will continue to heat up for a few months. I always reminisce at this time of year. I am a very healthy woman. I have two beautiful daughters that love me. Life is good. Lemonade!