31 August, 2011

Day 1+ and counting

We survived a full day + , Mom and I. No knock down, drag outs so far.  She did manage to lock us out of the main bathroom. I have no keys to interior doors. So I had my first lesson (self administered) on how to disassemble a door knob. Now, I need to get it back on. Well, we can wait until I get a key before I do that.

The dog loves to bark. I'm good with that when she is outside in the back yard. Not so much  when she is in the house.

I'm glad I got out to ride tonight. We both needed the space.  :)

I can only wonder what tomorrow will bring. Doesn't matter. We'll live it, survive it, and hopefully enjoy most of it!!!

Family is where it's at.

Many friends are going through lots of life as well. Much love to you all.


30 August, 2011

Facts of life

Nothing stays the same and nothing lives forever.

When my ex and I divorced, I took Socks and he kept Bastian. Mostly due to lifestyle. Socks would be happy indoors most anywhere. Bastian had always been able to be out and run, chase small animals and bugs. We adopted Bastian from the office head at my place of business in fall of 1999. She had "adopted" five pups who had lived all summer at the common dock on the Ohio river where she lived. She said they had been born in May. It was November and getting cold, the mother dog was long gone. I took my youngest daughter and she chose Bastian. The lady had named him already, but Amber insisted. His name is from "the never ending story".

He was a great dog. (I know, people always think their dog is the best in the universe). He only had two accidents in the house that I can remember. The first was when he hadn't been with us long, maybe at Christmas time. He had gotten into a bowl of hershey kisses.. He pooped chocolate foil for a day or so, everywhere. It's a wonder it didn't kill him. Chocolate is NOT good for pets. After that, he never ate anything he wasn't supposed to. He didn't beg (too much). If it looked like he was, we would just say "no begging' and he would go lay down on his pillow.

There was a time he was in trouble often. All because we would get up in the morning and the newspapers would be scattered all over the floor in the family room. Late one night my husband had insomnia and was in the front room at the computer. All of a sudden my ex heard a commotion. It was newspapers flying. He could see around the corner and the dog was on his pillow, head on the floor between his paws, looking up with big eyes. As my husband got up and quietly walked around the corner and looked at the couch he could see the culprit. Socks was standing on the couch, on top of those newspapers facing the back of the couch, kicking newspapers and fast as she could. She saw my ex and jumped straight up about 4 feet and took off, not to be seen for quite a while. I think she lost one of her lives that night. We all owed Bastian huge apologies, since we'd been disciplining him morning after morning. We all felt so bad.

He loved those "Beggin strips". He would get two in the evening. We could leave the bag sit out all day, open, on the floor and he would never touch it. But as soon as one of us would reach for it he would dance and dance. 

I saw him several months ago when I went to get the last of my things out of the house. He was looking older and slower, grey whiskers and no longer jumped on me when I walked up. I said my good-byes to him again, figuring I'd not see him again. I was right. He got sick, very quickly. My ex took him to the vet yesterday morning and they took x-rays. He had a tumor that was putting large amount of pressure against his lungs. He couldn't lay down. After taking some time to think about it, he had Bastian put to sleep. He sat and held him through the procedure until he fell asleep and relaxed. He then took him home and buried him. 

Everything has it's time and place. I wish I could talk to my ex. I know how hard it was. We'd had quite a few pets over the years and gone through this together. Bastian led a good dog's life. As my oldest wrote: "bastian, you were the best damn dog in the world and i'm gonna miss you so much. you had the best life i've ever seen for a dog, total freedom to do whatever you wanted; chasing bunnies, roaming as far as you wanted, making friends with every person and animal you met, getting to lick all the people plates after every meal. i hope the afterlife treats you just as well in doggy heaven. rest in peace old friend. i love you."
My oldest and I went and brought Mom to stay with me for a few days while my siblings and I figure out what to do. She needs a lot more attention and company than she has had. She needs to not drive anymore. We need to make sure she takes her meds properly, throws away spoiled food, eats well, all those necessities. She has a dog. Darcy likes to bark. Now I have a cat and a dog living here along with Mom. 

Life takes it's twists and turns. Life is good and bumpy. It's much like the good ole wooden roller coasters. Never a dull moment, to be sure. I'll figure out training and stuff later.


28 August, 2011

First mtn bike season is in the books - racing-wise that is

splurged on a room and sushi for dinner. Went to bed by 10:30, was awake 11:30, 12:30; 2:00, 3:30 - 4:15 and finally slept (with alarm and snooze) til 7:30. I had a nice breakfast of 2 pancakes, scrambled eggs, oatmeal and hot tea. Took my time with putting everything back in the car and arrived in time to sign in and click off some pics of the Cat Pro/1/2 start.

Went back to the van and relaxed for 30 before kitting up and warming up. I was surprisingly calm. No jitters or butterflies. I just wasn't going to get all bent for this last race. The start was crowded and we kept moving back to give room. All Cat 3 men waves went, then Juniors, then Clysdales and Cat 3 women then Intro men and women. That is a LOT of people just minutes between starts. For the most part it seemed to work well.

I was shocked when I got the hole shot. The season 1st place lady was behind me and wanted to pass, but there just wasn't a place on the narrow single track. I gave way as soon as the course allowed. However, I was not going to stop. It was my race, too. I felt great and stayed in a big gear most of the race, except for a few places. The drops were no problem. My only issue was having to slow down on some of the 90 - 120 degree turns. Eventually 5 women passed me along with a few men. I'm good with that though. I rode hard and didn't fall/crash. 

This was such a fun season. Lots of learning, new GREAT people and new places were discovered. 

I'm whooped. I need to get my arse in gear for CX now. No more laziness! I have my room for Madison in January. And I'm thinking about a camp in Spain in Feb. We'll see how it goes.

I'm happy and tired. I should sleep tonight. Full week of work before a nice long weekend for vacation and the last holiday of summer. The weather has been spectacular as well.

I hope all of you have enjoyed this weekend as much as I have!


27 August, 2011

Town Run the last DINO of 2011 is tomorrow

and so is my last mtn bike race of the year. There's one more, but I've got a family commitment that is more dear and important to me. 

Seems like it took me forever to get everything done today. Get out of bed was the most time consuming. ha ha   Laundry, mowed (weed-eated) the grass, garbage, dishes, packing clothes, packing the van and too much farting around. Made one last phone call to my travel buddy but she didn't come with. Had a few stops to make along the way and hit I-65 northbound.

2 hour drive wasn't bad at all. the entrance to the park is TEENY and I almost missed it. There were quite a few people riding. The weather is perfect! No humidity, mid 80s, nice breeze. Most of the course is in the trees and is nice and cool. There are a couple of places though that are in an open field. Since my race begins around 12:12 tomorrow, those places will be quite warm. 

I'm so glad I pre-rode. No surprises for tomorrow! 

I splurged and got a room for the night. Then I found a Japanese restaurant and ordered sushi takeout. I wonder how many from home will show up for the race? I know there's a big MotoGP race here tomorrow, too. 

I'm tired. Ready to put my feet up and relax a while before hitting my pillow.


25 August, 2011

Wondering what it could be

and deciding what it's not. This stupid asthma episode. I've decided is due to ragweed, because it happens every year. I've decided it's not the clothes I'm storing that are permeated with stale cigarette smoke and it's not the guest cat, Cocoa who is visiting for a while.

Wheezed and coughed and choked all day while working. My legs weren't happy and I was getting stiff, so I decided to get out and ride. Ha ha ha by the time I got changed into my kit, tires pumped and water bottles filled I was ready to sit for a short rest. I am so glad I didn't. Instead I was determined to ride, even if it was around the block. I stayed in easy easy gears and rode through the parks. Hogan's fountain hill was the worst but better than Monday's ride. 

The whole time I was riding I was thinking about the children with Cystic Fibrosis and asthma  and the people with COPD and emphysema and I am thankful I am ok. I can afford my inhalers and the Advair because I have health insurance. I thought about the survey results I read today saying nearly 10% of mid-sized or big employers expect to stop offering health coverage to workers after insurance exchanges begin operating in 2014 as part of Obama's health care overhaul. Maybe I should start saving now. Because I know what the retail prices are for my breathing meds. Sure won't be buying anymore bikes or bike gear if I'm spending $500 a month on drugs.

So yeah, I'm grateful for what I have and even more thankful that I stopped smoking when I did. Did you know that smoking contributes to a lot of things but some studies say it is directly related to macular degeneration. My Mother and Aunt are going blind with that one. They were life long smokers.

I'm no prolific writer and I definitely don't wax poetic. I have some friends that have the best writing styles, full of humor and wit or sarcasm. Me, I think most of this is like a journal. There's so much I'd like to write, but need to protect family and friends so I hold back. 

I think too much and worry about things I have no control over. I feel change coming again. It feels big. Not sure what it is or when it'll happen. In the mean time I'll keep trying to stay in tune with my friends and family. I want to be there for them, if they want me. 

Right now my lungs feel more clear than the last 3 days. Maybe I'll get to race that last DINO on Sunday after all. It wont be pretty. Most likely DFL. But that's not the point. The point is doing it and not being afraid to fail. Because not doing it is worse.

peace to all of you and yours
much love your way

24 August, 2011

so much on my mind

so much to think about. Walked 4 blocks to grab a bite to eat. Stupid air had me wheezing before I got there. Walking home my ribs were sore, probably from coughing over the last two days. Sure can't ride if I can't walk. 

It's cool though. Other things are occupying my time. Hours and hours of work. Family tasks. Touching base with friends.

I have gotten such good news lately. Babies being born, friends getting engaged, family members having breakthroughs, friends finally able to finish healing and start to do the things they want to do. 

So what if I didn't do first cx tonight. Lots left to attend. Someone posted up a movie, Blackthorn. Its a western and looks like a good one. I think Dad would've enjoyed it. Thinking I might go see it. solo  Never done that before, reckon it's time. 

To my friends who are battling something right now, keep up the fight and take care of you. Get the rest you need and allow your body to heal. Damn, I know it's difficult to be patient.

I'm counting on the air quality to improve and the temps to start to drop. One last mtn bike race on Sunday and I don't want to miss it if I can help it.

much love to you all and peace

23 August, 2011


ragweed reached 9.9 levels today.  the wheeze has arrived. before the first official CX practice.  my chest is full of congestion.  very grateful it's not infection.  just clear mucous.  it makes very odd sounds when I take deep breaths.  i don't like it.  hoping the benadryl WV brought to me dries it up and puts me out.  tried to do some strength exercises.  need to breathe for that.  tried some yoga.  that requires oxygen intake as well.  grateful i got 10 hours sleep last night.  with no real exertion sleep may not come.

tomorrow is a new day.  first day of CX practice in da Ville.  it will be fun for many to be sure. maybe a bright bandana will help.


20 August, 2011

Season of dry nostrils is over

It happened this week. I'm riding on the road early on and my nose begins to drip. It's clear so it's allergy, but annoying. I'd hoped maybe we could last until October. HA HA so stupid to think that. I'm not sure what is triggering. Woke up in the wee hours of Friday morning with sore throat, fever and ear ache which is NOT what needs to happen. Took some thieves oil and all was clear by mid afternoon.

Got out early this morning and rode mtn bikes with two friends @ Waverly. Such fun time it was. They are much more experienced and a lot stronger than I am, but were sweet and either hung back or waited for me when I trailed behind. It was good because I push myself a lot harder when I ride with others. There were a couple of times though I just had to get off the bike. Asthma kicked in about 2/3 of the way through. 

But I have to say that I was feeling so much more confident doing the downhill portions and was totally loving the whoop-di-doos on the newest trail. We did it twice. :-D  

I gotta figure out what this trigger is. CX practice starts this week and I've been doing drills already. Started walking/running too. I guess the CX cough will be back before I know it.

There are two more mtn bike races that I hope to do. We'll see how that goes. Lots of life stuff happening with family. Big pow wow with my sibs tomorrow. Ah, never a dull moment! Probably a good thing there's not any dating going on right now. All in the grand scheme I reckon.  

Sounds like 2 of my fellow Rogues put out good efforts at Fool's Gold with one coming in third in single speed division. Another friend qualified to go to the 2012 World Championships  in New Zealand during his race today at the USA Triathlon National Championships. And one of the younger Rogues took 1st place at her triathlon today as well! Love to celebrate good things about good people.

Hope all of you are finding things to celebrate too!

peace out

18 August, 2011


today was not a good day to work from home. The water co. decided to replace the lead (yes lead which is poisonous to the human species) with copper lines. Jack hammers at 9am were most pleasant. Thank goodness my first call was at 11, with my boss, and they were still creating havoc! 

Behind at work and more urgent requests come at all hours. But one PM tells me that one project is highest/er priority than all others. O. K.

Didn't ride today, should have most likely, but didn't. Hands and feet hurt all night and most of the day. eh

Walked to Hammerheads for dinner. Joined a neighbor and had a nice visit. Walking home I noticed the birds. YEP, they are migrating south already. :(  bummer but it's time. I'm really over the 90s but we'll see them for at least a few more weeks.

It's disappointing when friends don't respond, interact, leave all communication to the written word. Some days I fantasize about unplugging and then I get scared because I'll lose all contact with others.

Yes, randomness. too many thoughts. 

Solitude is not a bad thing. I just need to discover the good qualities it carries.

Serenity and companionship are my goals. Someday

peace to all you jokers

17 August, 2011


Everyone in the town I grew up in had one. Everyone it seemed except me. (yes, that's an exaggeration because there were others without). Thing was, as far as I knew, everyone was cool with it. Whenever you got one it was like being christened (I was brought up baptist and we didn't do that). There were so many and my memory fades, but Goose and White eye are two I remember. 

But it's when there is a nickname that's said and maybe used regularly without the person's knowledge that things go awry. Seems this happens more often than not and it can be so hurtful when the person learns of it. 

I always wished I'd earned a nickname. I was envious of those that had. It seemed to me to be such a term of endearment, but personal and attached to the individual. A couple of friends have christened me with their versions in the last year or so: Crash Monkey, and Tumbling Thompson. But I was the first person they said it to and I was pleasantly honored. Now, I'm not proud of the fact that I fall down so much on my bike. But, they both seem to fit and are used by those two people with the best of intentions.

There's my soapbox for the week. Think before you use a name or adjective you aren't ready to say to someone's face, k?

peace out y'all

14 August, 2011

Certified in something

The past week has been turbulent.  So much has happened. Too personal to post specifics. I took a couple of days away from work and now have so much to make up.

This was supposed to be an easy training week, I'm not sure I've done enough to even qualify as easy week. I started the Heine bro ride on Sunday, but legs felt like lead. Normally, after 20 minutes of riding they start to feel better, but on this day just felt worse and worse. I bailed and went home, only got 15ish miles for the day. Monday was a blank. Tuesday I rode to Utica for 27 miles. First half was decent, ride home was drudgery. Stupid tears flowed most of the way home. Wednesday was easy ride with Thursday as another blank. Friday I got in 18 miles, recovery effort. If nothing else at least riding a bike helps with the overall funk, for a while at least.

My mtn bike and I haven't spent any time together recently. The twist grips became unusable and so they had to be replaced.  I was able to pick it up on Friday afternoon, but just wasn't ready to ride it so I rode my CX bike with road tyres instead. I've been wanting to find a new route to ride in S IN. A friend was nice enough to map one out for me. Thank you again! It goes to Deam Lake. This is where we ride fire roads in winter. It's a little over 23 miles from my house to Flower Gap rd.

It was a great ride, one busy section for about a mile on 111 but the rest was so nice. At least on the way to. About the time I turned on Ebenezer Church rd it started to sprinkle, ever so lightly. This was still on my way to the destination. I turned and headed back after eating my biscuit with almond butter. Once I got to IN 60 and 111 it was raining at a steady pace. It felt great, cool rain with warm steam rising from the pavement. Then about 2 miles south on 111 things changed. I'd seen lightning for a while, but it was close. The dark skies had been moving east but north of me. Now they were closing in around me, the wind was picking up, the rain was coming down very hard. I had my blinky tail light on. Cars had headlights on. Wind blew almost straightline at one point. It was blowing so hard the rain was stinging my skin. I finally had to stop riding, dismount and stand off to the side of the road with my back to the weather. Cars had stopped and put on their emergency flashers. I had a conversation. I was not afraid. There were so many things that happened throughout the week that confirmed my inability to control any situation that I was finally at ease with this one. I was grateful for the rain, we've not had much recently. I knew I was going to be safe, even though I was soaked, as long as I kept my head and didn't panic. A sense of calm that came over me. The winds died down enough that I could continue riding. The rain continued but lessened over the next couple of miles. The streets were filled with water and limbs and debris for the next 15 miles. So maybe I got my certification in crazy riding. I found some strength through the experience though. I found my center. The ride home I felt stronger than I have in weeks. My legs were spinning with such little effort, even the few small climbs were a breeze. This is what riding is about.

When I arrived home I found power out. Traffic signals were still out this morning throughout the eastern part of downtown and the highlands. My power finally came on around 10:30 or 11. Cable and internet, however did not.

There was a local mtn bike race today. It was a rain date from last Sunday. They spent most of last evening cleaning up limbs and clearing trails for the race. I spent the afternoon in the office working. Trying to catch up, at least  a little from the week's distractions. I feel bad for not helping at the race, but I also have to keep priorities in line: family, work, play.

Right now I'm trying not to live in the past or future, but present only. However, I did make room reservations for CX Natz in WI for January. I'm thinking it's a good thing I didn't make firm plans for NC this month. Have to see how things go this next week or so.

I have one more mtn bike race I'd planned on doing that is scheduled for two weeks from today. Right now I hope to split my time between the CX bike and being practicing those skills and the mtn bike. We'll see how things go. So many things can change my plans. I just have to be flexible, trust in the universe and continue to breathe in the good and exhale the toxic.

Sending much love and high vibrations to those who are healing, finding help and helping others.


09 August, 2011

Life is full of tests

some tests belong to others, but  they also become yours.

Training is blegh right now. The right knee hasn't been the same since I crashed on my CX bike. I saw a massage therapist who did wonders, but that only lasted a few days. During that session she told me I've had lots of whiplash, ha ha ha No Joke! 

Anyway, family is the most important thing to me. My daughters are precious. My Mom and sis and bro as well. There's some personal stuff right now. I am so grateful for good friends. Everything else has to be placed on hold for a day or so.