30 January, 2011

January 2011 begins and ends with warm days

and of course all of the cyclists I know got outside and rode (those that were able). We just had 2 days of 45F and sunshine. Such a wonderful blessing from mother nature.

I wanted to ride and ride as long as I could. Unfortunately, that's not as long as I wanted. But no sour grapes. Saturday was a fun ride with a girl friend. She's a triathlete and ironman, but right now is wanting to race bikes, cyclocross especially. I took her to So. In. and we rode the one route that still has visible Dan Henry's marked. We got in 30 miles. I felt all kinds of aches and pressure points. But it was fun.

Today I'd thought about catching a ride with some guys. They were gonna do a "moderate" 40 miles. My left shoulder and right hand decided to wake me throughout the night, so I decided not to embarrass myself trying to hang with them. Besides, I just wanted to ride and hope the shoulder behaved. I got another girlfriend to join me. We did an easy flat ride to Utica and back. I stayed in my small chain ring. Heading east there was a good headwind, but it made the trip back very easy.

Yesterday and today I set the alarm for 5am to watch the Cyclocross World Cup. The Junior boys raced Saturday and I pulled for local youth Drew Dillman along with the others on team USA. This morning I watched the women race. (Though I found myself wondering why there wasn't a Junior girls race, hmmm.) What an exciting event! And it will be in Louisville in 2013, not very far away at all.

So, it's supposed to be an easy week for training. I need to pull a calendar together and send it off. I wish I could find a group of experienced cyclists that I can ride with at times. I want to learn, but how do I do that if I can't keep up? Some day or maybe not. One thing is for sure. I love to ride my bikes! Just gotta figure out this shoulder thing soon. So I can HTFU.

Spent this evening with daughter #2. She came by and I worked on her pc again. We downloaded tax forms and got to visit and catch up a bit. I got a real good hug before she left for home. She has a busy week ahead at work. I'm so proud of her and her sister.



28 January, 2011


and pains are normal. Especially when you fall down as much as I do. :-)  Not sure what's up lately though. Sleep pattern is all messed up. I sleep well, then I don't. My shoulder stops aching so much then it aches like the dickens. I woke up about 4 this morning and I had this pain in the left side of my heart. Not a heart attach pain. But something that was more like a pointed pinch. I know it was just psychological. Too much time spent wondering about love. 

On another note, ever think about how we use and lose certain words? I was talking with my Mom the other day and repeated it to a friend. I really hadn't thought when Mom said a city she was going to visit is on slow time. That was a normal thing when I was growing up. She meant Central time. My friend giggled when I said it. Funny how some things that seem so normal are very localized in nature


26 January, 2011

Sometimes I wonder

I wonder why I don't sleep well. I wonder if I'll outgrow it. I wonder if I'll learn to think before I speak. Then I wonder why as I always am honest. I wonder if I'll meet someone that will be interested in me, what I think. I wonder if there will be someone to be around and I can ask how their day has been. I wonder if I'll ever hold hands again. I wonder when the weather will break and I can ride my road bike outside and not freeze. I wonder how my girls are doing. I wonder if some people will ever speak to me again. 

I wonder if I will find a way to quiet my mind and stop wondering and just let it be.


24 January, 2011


I either say something that offends someone or I fail to contact a good friend when I should. I've messed up lots of times and put my foot in my mouth way too often. You'd think I would learn eventually. This is the lesson I'm to learn in this lifetime. I hope I do.

I was talking about the weekend rides and someone said I was brave. Oh please, these things are not brave. Just plain nutz is more like it. Besides I fell lots more than I ever thought I would on Saturday and did a big ole head over the bars flip on Sunday. My left shoulder is a mess again. Though it's not been right in a long time, my holistic shaman had gotten it to where I was riding and doing weights with no pain.

Am I subconsciously creating all this pain? Heartbroken, messed up relationships, messed up friendships, messed up body parts. 

I'll keep following my current theme song for now. I get up again

Time to shut up and pedal, train, and try to fix what I've broken.


23 January, 2011

A full weekend of snowy rides

Saturday, I already wrote about. Pretty sure I shouldn't have stood for 2+ hours at the get together last night while wearing 4" heals. OK, OK  I'm not so smart at times!  :)

I was a little concerned I might not sleep well. Sometimes, after a tough effort like the TT I wake up all night or just wake up and can't get back to sleep. But last night I slept all night with only one brief interruption. AND I slept til 8!  Which was icing on top.

Drove up to Deam lake to ride the fire roads with another large group. Yeah, last week I wrote that I didn't think I'd go back. I changed my mind! After the hike a bike yesterday all I could think is that I need more time riding my mtn bike. Especially with the Death March in less than 7 weeks now.

Riding today was tough. Just the ride on the paved road (covered with snow and ice) was treacherous. One cyclist fell that I saw. While I don't mind falling in snow, I don't like falling on a paved road, ever! Once we got on the trails I was feeling pretty good. We were all together. The snow was tough to maneuver in, but we all seemed to be experiencing the same problems. There are a couple of steep descents not too far from the beginning of the ride. This is where I started lagging behind. The first one was about 4 inches of snow over loose gravel. The second one was more snow, less gravel. But longer and at the bottom there is a curve to the left and a creek to cross. I did ok, but as I said i started lagging behind. Had to push the bike on several ascents where I just couldn't keep traction. Came to the second creek which was also at the bottom of a descent. Think I took the wrong line, slowed too much and endo'd over the creek. At least I didn't get my feet wet! 

We regrouped a couple of times. Each was at the top of a hill. I was feeling ok that I wasn't that far back each time, seeing other still pushing their bikes up the hill. After the second regroup I stayed with everyone for a while. I was trying to get close to catch some conversations, but never quite heard any of them. Started getting all wrapped up into wanting to ride with and be a part of the group and what everyone was chatting about. As the trail started to increase in steepness I found myself chasing. Trying to get on someones wheel. But in the snow, it's crazy because everyone is fishtailing so you don't want to be too close. They gradually pulled away. Others passed me. I was anxious and started to get too worked up about all that. So, I got off my bike and talked to myself for a few minutes. Today I came to ride. I knew that after yesterday my legs would be pretty tired. My goal was to have fun riding in the woods with nature. So, I rode when I could at my pace. I pushed when I needed and concentrated on staying relaxed and not so tense with pushing the bike. 

I got to the top of the trail at the road and the RC was waiting. He got me to follow him to the out and back where everyone else had gone. But being on pavement, picking up speed and not having the woods for protection I got very cold. So I told him to go on and catch them. That he and the rest should have a good time today. I was heading back down. He wanted me to stay and ride with him. But when I insisted he said to be careful going back down the hill. I was. There was a short part where a truck or atv had ridden and put in good tracks (just like the last part of the uphill trail). But once I crossed the barricade there were only bike tracks. I tried to stay in the tracks and kept slipping and sliding. Then I rode in the deep snow where the traction was great but took much more power and energy to keep moving. I walked some and rode some. I took time and looked around, checked out some animal tracks, listened to sounds of the woods. At one point I ran into another group of mtn bikers coming up the hill. They were pretty tired. I flew down a couple of the descents, stayed relaxed and concentrated on keeping the wheel straight. Not an easy task. Once I got back to the paved road I started having lots of slipping. So I finally just pushed the bike most of the way back to the van.

All the hard riding this month was nothing compared to the frozen TT I did @ CX Nats on a cross bike. Here's a pic. I was pretty puckered up the whole time that race.

This was a good weekend in cold and snowy conditions. My legs are toast and the rest of me is wiped out. I was a bit disappointed when I got into my hot bath to find it wasn't and there was no hot but only lukewarm water. The maintenance man just called to say it would be fixed tonight. yeay! Hate he has to come out on Sunday, but glad it will be fixed.

I need more work, but it's January and I should be enjoying myself. Will focus on the things coach tells me when he thinks it's the right time. I need to find a way to get more base miles. Guess that's up to the weather though. And my butt needs to finish healing. It still hurts when I ride, uphill especially. I am fortunate to be able to get out and ride and have fun as much as I do. 

Local junior cyclist I mentioned yesterday raced this morning. The World cup is next weekend. But today he came in 25th and I think was the #1 American in the junior race. So proud of him!

Have to work 5 days this week. I'm sure they will go fast. Hope everyone stays healthy and gets in some fun!

peace to all

22 January, 2011

Have a lot to learn about riding mtn bikes in the snow

Amy and I went to Cincy to ride in a mtn bike Time Trial. Up at 5:30, left by 7. Drove 2+ hours. Temps were about 6F at the start. 

I couldn't keep my rear wheel from spinning out. There was at least 5 inches of fluffy snow on the ground. I fell what seemed to be about 20 times. Nothing major except once where I laid there hoping I hadn't separated my shoulder. I hadn't, thank goodness. This was mainly a hike a bike for me. Two big hills two push up. The first one was just as steep and longer than the one at the TT in Bend. My asthma kicked in at the top and I just stopped to get my breath. Glad I went. Good time outside and once I got moving I warmed up nicely.

Went to a get together with new ladies team in the city. Very fun and enjoyed meeting everyone. 

I'm exhausted and ready to slumber for a while. Wish I wasn't all weepy though


21 January, 2011


Short week, but lots of work and indoor riding.

Monday was a holiday. Was invited to coffee. First time to meet face to face. Nice guy, interesting conversation, but left knowing that was all, just coffee. Maybe I need to lower expectations. He arrived @ 10 past the hour. We chatted, asked each other about each other. He kept his phone in his hand. 10 minutes in responded to email. 35 minutes in took a phone call. I had turned my volume off. Didn't want any interruptions while meeting someone for the first time. Is this what life has become? Everyone being attached to their phones? Might miss something if you don't look at it every few minutes? I'm pretty much done with all that for now.

Tomorrow a friend and I are driving to Cincy to do a mountain bike Time Trial in the snow and frigid temps. Should be fairly painful and tons of fun. We'll get to see some folks we've not seen since CX season ended!

Local racer and member of Red Zone cycling team, Drew Dillman is in Europe. Germany I believe is the country. He is representing the US on the USA cycling junior team in the Cyclocross World Cup.  Super cool stuff. He will represent well!

Time to ready the gear. Man, it's gonna be cold brrrrrrr


17 January, 2011

good gawd!

enough being lazy, weepy and plain ole weak. It's time to get this body in some kinda toned up, limbered up, and strengthened up shape. 

Let's hear it for longer days! I want to ride. I want to sweat. I want to have fun with like-minded people. 
(among other things)

Weights, Yoga, rollers, mountain bike, gonna fit them all into the schedule!  


16 January, 2011

Off season blues (or confusion)

So maybe it's not really off-season. Base period is more like it. Riding the trainer as much as I can, even if it's a short session. Tuesdays and Thursdays are great because the club puts on the Trainer Tours, so at least you can sweat along with 40 or so friends.

I don't want to complain about the weather. It's winter and is supposed to be cold and snowy and stuff. Makes us appreciate those 100F days. Seems not only do I have issues with staying upright on a bicycle, I also have trouble with the whole walking thing. Last Saturday I went bowling with friends. Great time! They are some lively people, that's for sure. It's nice to be included. After bowling we headed to our cars. I'm walking towards mine and hit some black ice. Both feet fly forward and I land on my arse, square just above the tailbone. Everyone helped me up, asked about my well being and I insisted I was fine. Once I got to my van and started pulling out of the parking lot I began to cry. That fall really hurt. Such a big baby, I cried all the way home. 

I was so tender and sore. On Sunday the act of sitting down or standing up was misery. Once I got to either position I was fine, for the most part. I didn't get on my bike again til Thursday. I was ok for the most part at the Trainer Tour. Supposed to keep my HR in aerobic area so didn't work real hard. Last ten minutes my bum was getting sore. Saturday I finally got outside to ride, first time since New Year's weekend! I rode the club ride, to and fro. Got in 27 miles. It was cold at the start, but we warmed up quick. The wind was fierce in places, but that's what riding outside is all about, right? The elements. I felt pretty good, last ten miles my butt was tired however I didn't care.

This morning I finally got to ride my mtn bike again. Twenty showed up at the fire roads of Deam Lake. We split into two groups, fast and not so. Temps were about 28, but I think it was colder at the top. There was a pretty good covering of snow and it was crunchy. As always, my heart rate spiked while riding on the paved road to the trail head. I think it's the 26" wheels, you spin a lot more which increases breathing and HR. I was feeling great at the beginning. People ahead of me were in sight. There were climbs, but offset by downhills. We got a little bunched up in some places. Eventually though the climbs outnumbered the descents. I just couldn't keep up with everyone (or catch back up). With each hill I had to pull and each time I pulled my butt started hurting more. Finally the last one passed me and I was the caboose. Only problem was that this was posted as no drop. Always puts some pressure on the last one (psychologically self imposed, not by anyone else). One of my friends had turned back, having a not so great morning. Finally, I reach a point where everyone had stopped to wait and regroup. I had no idea how long they'd been waiting. But as soon as I arrived they started again. No time to really catch my breath. This is where self imposed guilt comes in. I wanted to rest a bit, but it was cold and was sure everyone was getting cold. Not a good thing when riding. I heard one of the guys on the front say that this was going to be a long ascent, but nothing real steep. It took about 5 minutes, maybe less and everyone was out of sight. Another 5 minutes and my quads starting burning. I shifted gears and tried to find a sweet spot, just never seemed to get there. Then I hear bikes behind me. The fast group had gone a different route, but then came on this one. One by one they caught and passed me. I think I was off my bike taking a breather while one passed. He asked if I was ok. Yep, I'm fine. I would clear a hill to see more empty trail ahead of me. I wondered how far ahead everyone was, but there was no way for me to know. I never saw any of the rest of them except for one. He was leading our group. I got almost to the top of the trailhead to the pavement and he was coming towards me, asked if I was ok. I said yeah. He said the others had gone ahead to do an out and back. I asked which way to go to head back to the cars. My heartbeat had been in my ears the whole ride to this point and my quads were aching like crazy and my butt was outright hurting. I just wanted to recover and get warm. 

He pointed me to a trail I knew. It was downhill most of the way and I got very cold. It was exhilarating though. I flew down much faster than I had the two previous times in the snow. 

So, not sure what to do or think. I love to ride my mtn bike. It's probably not smart to ride the fire roads alone. (not sure I'm very smart) But I won't ride with that group again, not for a long time. I don't know, but today I was no where near their fitness level. I'm sad. I want to ride and have fun. I'm shocked at how out of shape I felt today. 

I changed clothes at the van, cranked the heat and drove home. I shivered the whole way. I shivered for 30 minutes after I got home. I'd commented on my facebook status that "I'd like someone to fix me some hot chocolate please". A friend said that was a high maintenance comment. I don't think I'm high maintenance. I was being silly since there's no one here but me. I fixed my hot chocolate and fell asleep. I slept over an hour! which is crazy since I slept 8 last night.

I really am not sure how to feel. I try to do the things I say that I will do. Maybe I need to understand what other people's definitions of things are. I'm conflicted. I thought no drop meant no one would ride alone at the back. At the same time I would've felt worse if someone had had to be with my slow ass. 

I don't make plans and not show without a call. I do my very best to follow through. I should stop with my expectations. I need to be realistic, both about what other people say and do as well as what I'm capable of doing athletically. 

But I don't want to resign myself to mediocrity! I need to understand what's up with my fitness. I'm not thrilled about today's performance. I have tomorrow off. Maybe I can ride trails early and then the road bike later in the day.

I have signed up to do this fun thing in March with a fellow lady Rogue-racer. I need more base miles to prep for it (as well as the racing season ahead). Sub9 Death March is going to be a FUN thing. plain and simple. two-person teams riding 50-60 miles on fire roads, single track and pavement searching for cemeteries. Maybe I should take the cross bike back up to Deam Lake. If the ice melts.


09 January, 2011


So I thought I wanted to be a free spirit, not get tied down for a while. Well I've been soul-searching and I'm out of sorts. Haven't felt right since I moved to this apartment. I love the location, but I've never felt like unpacking. It's time to put down some roots. I need to be settled. So, I've begun looking at real-estate and the realtor sent me a huge list of properties available based on my search criteria. Both condos and houses. 

So now the question is which do I want? A condo will give me freedom from mowing grass and exterior maintenance.(I'm shocked at the range of maintenance fees $135 - over $300 a month!) A house will give me privacy and hopefully a space to put in a garden. Guess which way I'm leaning? 

Now to finish the mortgage app process and send the realtor a list of possibilities to schedule viewings.

Any suggestions? advice? I'm open to any and all. Right now is the best time to be looking/buying. It's cold outside and there are plenty of properties that have been on the market awhile so the sellers are motivated.

Back to training stuff next time. 

In the meantime:

peace to all

05 January, 2011

Change of life

brings about anxiety, depression, upheavals, moves, break-ups, broken this and bruised that. 

So my resolution is to smile. If you see me and I'm not just say "smile". 2010 was too many frowns and tears and sadness. No regrets. It was necessary. 

Still get anxious, but am working through it. Take a time out, breathe deeply, try to find center and then divert my attention to something worthwhile.

2011 has much to offer and so do I. It's time to get busy. Time to embrace this latest chapter following such major change.