15 November, 2015

I never knew

how much my heart could really hurt until after I turned 55. Boy oh boy, it can hurt a lot and for so many reasons.

Love yourself and those places that hurt the worst. Once we can do that and then project love to the reasons the hurt exists the pain fades into nothingness.

Love, love , love, love...

peace to all

28 October, 2015

there's no way to know

how much time we've got. Mom's blood pressure is 220/90 now most the time. She seems to be content. She doesn't want to take showers and I don't blame her. It's not so easy to watch and to make decisions. Sometimes I really hate being a grown up.

18 October, 2015

Nothing good to report here

until there is I will be silent. 

No one wants to read about stuff unless it's happy and optimistic! 

peace and love to all 

31 August, 2015


, grateful yet full of regret as well. Mixed up.

So many are suffering with ailments and loss of loved ones and starvation and worse. My heart goes out to them. I meditate and try to keep optimism alive. 

I feel regretful for being upset about not being able to ride. I wish I knew how to fix these flare-ups, but my life isn't so unbearable. 

This world needs more love and understanding. You can call me weak if you want. But love has the most enduring connection and strong bond.

I have friends suffering pain I can't imagine living through on a daily basis yet still working and providing stellar service to their customers.

Friends have lost their parents and love ones.

Still others are malnourished, homeless, in need of basic necessities right here in my community.

much love to all
blessings and understandings for those that are different from me


23 August, 2015


So many things. I request assistance from The Sage, Universe, any one or thing to grant me Grace for the foreseeable future. 

At some point I'll be more comfortable writing about this (maybe), but for now that would be in contradiction of grace.  

Love and peace for all

08 July, 2015


I'm too "nosey", "invasive", "confrontational". So many adjectives so little whitespace. haha 
I take things to heart, personal more than I should. It's how I'm built. No apologies, not anymore. I also care deeply about those I have in my large circle. No, I won't be brazen and say they are all close friends, some are acquaintances, etc. But I am grateful for each one and the relationship we have.
Some have chosen to sever in this way or that our ability to communicate regularly. But I continue to send loving and healing vibes to all.
This life is full of tribulations and trials. It may take me 10 or 100 or 1,000 more lifetimes to make peace with it.

Less pokey & prickly and more soft like water. Takes a while for me to figure out things. Then it takes lots of trial and error to start to get it close.

For those of you that read this I am grateful.
So many are going through major life changes right now. I wish I had a magic wand. But mostly I hope we can all find common ground, understanding, love, serenity, peace, and more 

Much love and peace for everyone

29 June, 2015

Mini vacay, part 3

Am I being lazy? or is there really something going on in this body? I want to go and do and train. Some days, like this morning, it I'm just not feeling energetic, fit, ready to do what I've planned.

It's 11:07 pm and I return to work tomorrow. I seriously wish there was someway I could ride my bike most days in the mountains. Ride being the operative word!and not push it uphill.

It was steamy (humid) this week, independent of the temperatures.

Well I got sidetracked and typed the above then a full week goes by. That happens to me when reality sets in. 

Friday I took my time at The Crashpad. I fried an egg and made oatmeal, had a cup of tea and chatted with those that were doing the same. There was a couple that have travelled to Asia and India and they shared their adventures with us. I was inspired to start thinking of another international trip. I must start saving, both money and PTO (or maybe not worry about PTO). Wrapped up, loaded up and hit the road. It was my birthday and I made way to Brevard. I went to Pisgah brewery and then went to an anniversary party thrown by one of the local bike shops. They had food catered and brews and their own mini pumptrack people rode. 

There was a road event that weekend and the campground was full again, but I stayed where I stayed Memorial weekend. It was pleasant and quiet and comfortable. 

Saturday I got up and ate and drove to Trace Ridge trailhead. A friend shared his map and thoughts about the trail. The climb was tough. The descent was fun though very tight in a few places where the rhododendrons have grow close. When I got back to the van and was changing I heard voices and saw a friend from Louisville ride up. We chatted and made plans to meet for dinner later that evening.

I wanted to be sure and get done in time to see the Blueridge battle - pumptrack challenge at I9.  I'm so glad I did. It was fun to watch and video and talk with people. I met Chris and Jessie at The Phoenix for dinner, hit the chocolatier and then headed to Oskar Blues for a beer before turning in for the night.

Sunday I got up and the body was telling me how I'd ridden much more than I have recently. I'd been ignoring a flare-up to the best of my ability and kept the lidocaine handy. I was determined and so ate a bite and rode lower Black Mountain. It was damp as was Trace Ridge. But the descent is so fast and flowy! My time descendng was slower than before but I was happy to be in the forest. Of course I had to visit The Hub and Pisgah Tavern. I was thrilled to see Meaghan and Dave while I was in town. 

I left and went to Pisgah brewery to purchase some brews for home. They carry this mango chipolte hummus that is so good, I bought 2 to bring home. Next stop was Bruisin' Ales and found a few new choices and some for friends also. 

The drive wasn't terrible, but it's definitely long after riding same day (even though my ride was short).

My mini vacay was very nice and I'm grateful I can do things like this. Sure would be good to have others to share with, but make the best of what you have. One of these days maybe I'll get to travel with others again. 

So I'm 57, June is almost over and started the 58th revolution. Still have things to do and say. Violet turned 3 months last Friday. Time goes so quickly. 

peace and love

Yay for equal marriage rights! Now if we could just ratify the Equal Rights Amendment for women in this country.