29 May, 2017

Much to think and ponder and decide in my future

Another chapter has closed, at least it feels that way.
Time to move on and follow the path in front of me.
I've never been one to say good-bye, but there are times I've been told good-bye. And on some level good riddance. Not a good feeling. At all.
Crossroads where "friends" and family have cut me loose.

One says/asks if I'm running away. I truly don't believe that's it. I'm ready to find a way to do something I want to do. No obligation that says I must stay in that job or live in that place. The amount of time I have to end of life gets shorter all the time. 20 more years if I am fortunate. Don't want to spend the next 10 in a cubicle and then be too old, fat and miserable to do "what I've worked so hard for". F that

Today, for the first time, I said out loud to another person that I think achieving PRs on a bicycle are behind me. I didn't say it lightly. I don't want it to be true, but somehow deep down I think it might be. Another reason to make a change. Hell, I only started riding bikes in 2007, but next month I start my 60th rotation around the sun.

I'm a proud mother of two smart and beautiful women. I wouldn't change much of my time having and raising them. Though I've been told I did quite a bit incorrectly.

So back in '13 I found a place that feels good and calls me back regularly. I may never get to realize the silly little dream I've kindled for 3+ years.

more to come if the universe sees fit...

peace and love



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