21 April, 2010

disillusioned or just awakened to reality?

just not sure I'm ever gonna be fit and get fast on the bike AND I'm not doing this crit this weekend It's gonna pour rain and with moving and everything at work I just can't risk going down Am a big chicken

Yes, I can live without lots of things - but there are some things I don't want to do without forever - an arm around me, a warm kiss, a shoulder and neck to nuzzle into.


16 April, 2010


of solo Friday nights. Last time anyone touched my hand or kissed my lips was New Year's Day. Going to bed. Don't need to wallow more than I have tonight.

oh yeah, if you are viewing from work in Chitown or NYC, it'd be nice to know who you are

13 April, 2010

Hillsboro Roubaix

First let me say this was a great trip. I moved my gear to Brian's car while he wrapped up a few things @ work. We pulled out around 3 give or take. Stopped and grabbed a late lunch and jumped on the Interstate. Pleasant drive, though the scenery gets boring once we leave the knobs behind us.

We arrive in Litchfield where our hotel is but decide to go on to Hillsboro and pick up our numbers. The few miles between towns show that not all of Illinois is flat. Guess that's why they named the town Hillsboro, huh? Registration is a breeze and we drive back and check in. Once all our gear and bikes are stowed we decide to find dinner. There's a restaurant on historic 66 that sounds interesting. Even though it's after 9, it looks to be full. Lucky us, they put us in the next dining room which is empty save one table around the corner. Great food and tasty beers after a long drive had my eyelids drooping. This is good as I got a very good night's sleep.

Set the alarm for 7, well it didn't actually go off as I was awoken 2 minutes early. I could've used that two minutes! LOL Everyone has a different routine. I was too tired to prep before bed, so I had everything to do still. Thankfully I had someone with plenty of experience to assist in all these things. Had a nice breakfast of instant oatmeal, scrambled eggs and coffee (if you can call it that) We loaded up the car, checked out and headed to the venue. Luckily, Brian had already spied a coffee shop where we grabbed a few espresso shots to get us started off on the right foot.

Back to registration, with numbers in hand, to pickup the timing chips. Just let me say that I love timing chips! They make for quick and accurate results as long as the wearer doesn't cross the start/finish before the race. I felt like I had a good warmup on the trainer. Solid 30 minutes, just enough time to change, pee and line up @ the start. I worried as I was at the back, but worked my way up to the middle within the first mile or so and was feelin' good about that. This was the largest field I've ever raced. There were 50 and 46 that finished, all Cat 4 women. I don't think I've ever raced with 50 all categories women and juniors together. The undulation still gets me, slow down at the bottom of the hill and jack it about halfway up. By the time we hit the first "good" hill about mile 5, they dropped me and numerous others. I chase for a long time and another woman comes up and we work together for a few miles. We make it to another woman, but she doesn't seem to have any interest in working together she's just riding. We grab her wheel, but hit another hill and I'm off the back. So frustrating. There was plenty of flat and along with the flats were cross and head winds to contend with. I would look back every so often and knew there were others behind just couldn't see them. Somewhere around mile 22 I think the Cat 5 men pass me. That gives me enough gumption to start pushing harder. I talked to myself the whole race, in the drill Sargent tone. Finally there's a downhill, over the bridge and I recognize the road and I pass the Cat 123 women going in the other direction. The downhill was a nice respite as there is a nice long hill at the feed-zone. I search for a sweet gear, push and push and hear people saying the finish is at the top. Yeah, well what I didn't realize is that the top is still a ways away. There's a false flat and another hill, then turn onto cobblestone for two blocks uphill and another turn with two blocks of cobbles uphill. At the top there's the entrance and where we parked. I'm along, but I start pushing as hard as possible for a sprint finish. My legs are gone and I feel like I'm going backwards. All I can think is that I am so glad I don't have to do another lap. :-D

I had places hurt that never hurt before. It was a warm day, so warm that I was sweating after warmup and was covered with salt by the end of the race. No arm warmers or anything like that was necessary. The pollen was thick. I was sucking wind for an hour and forty minutes, deep and hard. By end of the races my wheezing turned into chest congestion. Not good :( Brian had Zyrtec which I took and it helped marginally.

I have to say that I am thrilled I did this race. It was hard, mostly because I rode solo. I have to stay with the group at some point or there's no sense in continuing this, right? There's more to tell, but I've written enough for now. And I'm tired after doing hill repeats after work tonight.

08 April, 2010

Just when you least expect it

... and it's been quite some time, I'm thinking October or November... an full-blown asthma attack out of the blue. I was getting in my workout on the trainer. Thinking I'd save time what with other chores to do. I'm almost through the first hard effort after warm up, heart rate starts to drop but still pounding in my ears. I take the full 10 minutes + to cool down before the next hard effort. I never really cooled, but heart rate was low and blood pressure eased. Halfway through the 2nd effort, I start to feel bad and then begins the constriction followed by wheezing. I push through the effort. Find my inhaler and begin a cool down. Wound up cutting the workout short. It's been half an hour and still not right.

I guess it's good, to have these reminders. I won't live forever. I had been getting a little nervous about this weekend. Now, I plan on having fun with it, best I can. It will be hard, but that's ok. Easy is forgettable, you remember those things in life that took effort (like giving birth). It will be another adventure. I hope I have plenty more before I'm gone.

For now, I need to feel better so I can clean the apartment since the landlord is showing it while I'm gone. Then I need to pack for 2 days of races, plus street clothes.

06 April, 2010

Being realistic

may never be at the top of my list. But there is always something to bring you back to the realization of just how human and frail you are. It happens gradually, energy level drops, begin gaining weight, sleep becomes more and more elusive. I guess it's a good thing my doctor wouldn't fill my thyroid meds without a visit. We did blood work and she checked a bunch of stuff. She wrote me a script that day, but said to wait until the results came back to fill it. I rec'd a voice mail from her the very next day. Need to up the dosage. I picked up the new script yesterday morning and started it. It's funny, and maybe it's just psycho-whatevah, but I feel better today. Not 100% perfect, but better. I stayed up way late last night watching basketball, but I slept ALL night. That hasn't happened in a couple of months. We shall see how this goes over the next period of time. I have to go back in 6 weeks and do more blood work to see how it is.

Last week was a very good week for me as far as riding/training goes. Been going to ride with SIW on Wednesday evenings. What a great group of people! The routes are challenging, but no traffic and very few stops. So different from urban riding where there are traffic lights and bozos buzzing you. Friday evening went to JMF and did 3 hills, I need hills and they were tough but so much easier than ever before. Saturday we rode a knob or two in Southern Indiana, again the climbs are still hard for me but getting easier. I'm so disappointed that I'm still leary of the downhills. If I can see when I'm headed, I don't mind "letting it all hang" but the blind curves with fast descents on unfamiliar roads take me back to last summer's crash. I'm not riding the brakes quite like I have been, but I have a very long way to go if I want to truly let it fly and race.

I needed more time in the saddle as I was already 2 hours behind for the week after Saturday. Decided I would ride to a ride and then ride home. I rode 20 miles to Charlestown, IN and rode once more with SIW. I had a tailwind all the way, which was great. but my legs never fully loosened up. I guess the hills (and the low thyroid) got to me more than I'd like to admit. I rode the 25 mile option instead of the 40. Was very fortunate to receive an offer for a ride home. My legs were toast and though I could have (and probably should have) rode home, it was into a headwind so I wussed out. Probably the smart thing. One more realistic decision behind me.

This week is easy. Going to lose some fitness. I think there's a method to that madness. Saturday and Sunday are races in MO. We leave Friday afternoon for a good drive to just outside St Louis. Saturday is the Hillsboro Roubaix. I just might be more insane than I thought by signing up for this. But I've decided that I am going to approach like most of this year, it's a learning experience. It will be tough and I will work hard for the 28 miles. I'm so glad that I'm a Cat 4 woman! Everyone else has to do two laps, 56 miles. We're also looking at a crit on Sunday. It will be my first. At last check there was only one woman registered. That will change. Seems to be the way it's done, everyone waits til the last minute to sign up.

Monday will be a vacation day. I'm sure this old body will require some extra time in the bed after two days of racing.

04 April, 2010

I should write something

It's been a while, but am so tired probably won't do it justice so will make it short and sweet. Have been training, still base but added hills this week. So much work to do.

Excited, because Dixie called and she'll be here later this month to work for 13 weeks. She broke her leg and is still mending, but finally back on the bike.

Found an apt and put down deposit, time to find boxes, start packing, find movers.

Have a race this weekend, two actually. We'll see how this goes ;-)