27 September, 2009

Slow Progress

for both running and riding. Went out to run this morning and just couldn't keep the HR to a decent level. Spent most of the time, even walking time, trying to relax my breathing. See how tomorrow goes. I've got to get 3 good runs in this week and then go longer this weekend.

Rode club ride this afternoon. Spent all the way til Ledges solo and the group passed me. Caught them at Lexington and Grinstead and thought I'd hang for a bit. There were a couple of squirrely dudes out there, passing on the right, not holding their line. I backed off. Joe found my wheel and we went down Lexington. I wasn't in the mood for all the traffic lights today. Stop and go gets annoying. He and I took turns pulling all the way down River Road. Was a very windy day. The racers caught us just before the curve in advance of Glenview. Kept them in sight til the first incline.

It was nice to do 20 and 21 mph again. It felt good hitting 23/24 a few times, too. I must get past being nervous in a group. If I know the riders, I'm good for the most part. Time to stop making excuses or change my goals.

21 September, 2009

Last day of summer 09

is today. Tomorrow day = night and then the nights grow longer. I keep having the overwhelming waves of sadness. There seems to be no apparent reason, but I start to tear up out of the blue. So, if you see me and my eyes are glistening, don't worry. Seems to be very normal this year.

My baby girl is going back to school. She got grants to pay for tuition, but didn't cover books. Damn those suckers cost some $$. Oh well, it was time to cut back on the beer and coffee budget. I could cancel my trip to San Antonio, but not gonna do that. Even if it's only 3 days, I need to get away.

Hello Autumn. Look forward to some long rides and beautiful colours.

19 September, 2009

Out of my mind

is where we should spend most of our time according to the book I'm reading. Makes sense. I think too much, then muck everything up real well.

Rode the longest ride since my crash this morning, approx 36 or 37 miles. I took off on the front and hung til 6th, then backed off. I rode solo the majority of the ride. Jumped on one wheel for a few, but just wasn't comfy as I didn't know the person. I'd find a sweet spot and hit 20mph on occasion. Mostly, I stayed more like 16 or 17 and then once I got back to UofL after Iroquois, I was under 15mph. My shoulders really started to fatigue about mile 22 and went downhill from there. By the time I got to Zorn I was in tears because my shoulders ached so badly.

Tomorrow is my first cyclo cross race and I'll be cheering with cowbell. Lot's of people to cheer on, too.

I was ready for bed at 8:30, it's 9 and think I'll head that way. Days are growing short, I worked harder today than I have in a while.

ps I've slept all night with no wakeups or potty breaks two nights in a row. I wonder why? liquid minerals maybe? hope whatever I'm doing, I keep doing ;-)

17 September, 2009

Pulmonary specialist

I really like this doc. I've been seeing him for several years now. Asthma is a nasty condition and I aggravated it terribly by smoking tobacco for too many years.

When I had my bike crash the x-ray tech (or maybe radiologist whoever reads this stuff) made a note on my chart and the ER doc called to tell me they noticed an enlarged nodule in my upper right lung. I finally called the pulmonary specialist to get an appt for my annual and mentioned to his PA what happened. The following week they called and moved my appt up a month. I went for my annual check-up and Doc ordered a CT scan w/out contrast. He couldn't use the one from the Ortho surgeon because it had contrast and showed bones only. ;-)

I had the CT on Monday after work. I missed a call from the doc today, he left a message to call with no info. I immediately called back and then called twice more through the afternoon. The last time was right before 5, he had left for the day and forgot to call me. Talk about being annoyed and I said that wasn't very thoughtful. They had his PA call me back. She said that the CT showed an enlarged nodule and that it has smooth edges. Normally they will follow it for 2 years with another CT in 6 months. Good, I think. I started asking questions, like do I need antibiotics, etc. She then said that she will have the doc call me tomorrow.

I'm thinking this is nothing. Now that she called me back that is. She said if the nodule had raged or spikey edges it would be a different story. I didn't ask what that would entail since it's not the case.

I smoked tobacco for 35 years. I know I damaged my body. I know the risk involved here. One day at a time is how I have to approach this, as this is how I have to approach all aspects of my life right now.

One of my first thoughts was how would I deal with something major like that being on my own. But I'm not on my own. I have a wonderful family and many good friends. I also have me and I am a strong person.

This has been a long, tiring week. This has been a year full of many life changes. What a wonderful adventure life is. Tomorrow is a new day and the sun will rise and shine on someone somewhere.

peace to all of you and yours

15 September, 2009

Sad times

More change, more people let go. Change is constant, go with it or be left behind. But it's exhausting. Feels like battle fatigue. I think this is 6 times in as many quarters now.

My best wishes that they find work that is more inspiring and this is ultimately a blessing for them.

12 September, 2009

12 September 2009

started at 5:40am but then punched snooze twice. Beautiful day by Mother Nature. She smiled and smiled on us today.

I drove to my old stomping grounds this morning and volunteered at SAG #2 for the Old Kentucky Home Tour. It was across the street from the Country Pantry, less than a mile from my house. Great turnout and we only ran out of GORP in the last 40 minutes (give or take). This is such a good opportunity to greet cyclists out for a weekend of fun. Everyone is always so appreciative. It was unfortunate that one gentleman went down right before our SAG and appeared to have broken his collarbone. (most cyclists I know have done this).

Went to my old house and took some tax reciepts to Terry. To the door, exchanged a few pleasantries, Bastian came out, wanted me to pet him and went back inside. I took off.

Went to Mom's. We had a nice visit. Her pc was messed up. When I turned it on there was a message box stating it needed to restore. FUN TIMES. Actually, it self repaired and she was a happy camper.

Came home, cleaned house, and took a nap. Went for an easy hour ride through the park with David. Met at Big Rock and just rode slow and easy. I was more fatigued than I realised. And with allergies kicking butt, the benadryl was dehydrating me.

Tonight's ride was like when I first began. Tight shoulders, tension in the neck, shoulder blades felt like a knife was between them. Legs feel great. HR and breathing suck big wind. Guess this is one more lesson in patience. No more taking 3 days in a row off the bike without legitimate reason (well I guess work is legitimate).

Will run and ride tomorrow. I'm very tired and it's not even 9:30. Rebuild stamina, endurance, heart rate and breathing. One day at a time.

Time to close another door. Really don't want to. Out of my control.

09 September, 2009


Finally get cleared to ride after 7 weeks off the bike and I rode all weekend. So why is it I've spent two days off? Work is part of it. But the rest is what?

Ragweed is kickin' my butt and I've been popping 1/2 a Benadryl every 3-4 hours for over a week. But there's something else. The year's event are weighing me down. I'm tired. I need a vacation. Booked that half marathon and never got a room or flight.

Today started out great as I had PT at 8am and I can tell how much more range I have as well as getting stronger. Then somewhere after lunch it went sour and was not such a good day. I took a walk. I thought several times about smoking. It's been a long time since I held thoughts this serious. It was scary.

Normally, I'd come home and go for a ride. Just didn't feel it. Instead I found something else with several people I've only met a couple of times.

Of all the changes this year the most difficult are the friendships that have changed, dwindled. I kid myself about doing my part.

The sun will come up tomorrow and I didn't smoke a cigarette today, two positives to take to my pillow.

07 September, 2009

Memories of the crash

came flooding back last night as I folded laundry. I came across my wind vest, arm warmers and gloves I wore that day. The vest is fine. They cut the arm warmers off of me, my only ones. The gloves were brand new, I'd just purchased from Clarksville Schwinn. It's odd to look at them the back of my right glove has a huge hole in the middle and all fingers are torn up. The left one has a few tears and one small hole but not terrible. My hands were relatively unhurt except for a small scrape or cut in a couple of places. I guess they protected me from worse damage.

06 September, 2009

Twice in one day

RRP put together a nice 3 hour ride this morning. I joined for the first miles. It had rained most of the night or seemed that way each time I stirred. Third ride in 3 days. As I rode to the ride start and consciously stayed off the painted lines on the road I could already feel minor fatigue in my upper arms. Stupid allergies don't help either.

We met at Heine at 8:30 and rode up Grinstead on our way to Zorn and then River Rd. There were 5 of us and another joined around Indian Hills if memory serves. Once we got to Glenview they really picked up the pace and by Captain's Quarters I dropped back. Told 'em not to worry if I dropped off. Thought I'd go up Wolf Pen and turn around. Yeah well, started up Wolf Pen and decided it wasn't worth it, maybe next week. Rode home, took Mockingbird, had a toasted peanut butter sandwich, took a sponge bath and then a nice nap.

About 1:00 I decided to do the Heine Bro ride. Caught my second wind. I started thinking I'd just hang back. But as we chatted and waited in the parking lot and I sized up all the riders I thought best to start out at the front. I've ridden with most of these guys and they are steady. Hung through the park and out onto Lexington, but let them go and I took Spring solo. Didn't need to go downtown. Decided to take Mockingbird again as I needed to be somewhere by 3:30 ish.

My legs are happy. My shoulder is okay. Glad it's still numb to the touch. The scar is more red than it was. But not inflammed or anything. Worst part of riding is carrying the bike up and down the stairs. Second is about 45 minutes in both shoulders and neck get tired. That will improve with time and more miles.

I love to ride my bicycle, I love to ride my bike. Freddy Mercury sang it well.

05 September, 2009

Labor day weekend

is the last long weekend of summer. I will not say I missed the last 7 weeks, because I lived them and walked them and enjoyed the mild weather Mother Nature blessed us with. I'm back on my bike and I am happy on so many levels. Now is when the real work and discipline comes in to play. I need to start running and making time for running. Which means I need to pick days for that training. Yeah, we'll see how that goes!

I intended to do a Tai Chi class this morning, but was resting so well I stayed in bed. Got up just in time to eat, and get ready to ride. Prep time needs attention! airing up the tires was a new experience with the shoulder. Took off about 8:45 and rode to the yellow lot. I started out in front, because I just didn't want to be taking any chances with people I hadn't ridden with. There was one guy that made me a little nervous, but he sped off to the very front quickly enough and then a traffic light separated us. Those do come in handy for such occasions.

My legs felt great. I stayed in the small chain ring. Still not ready to mash yet. On the way back Bank Street I missed clipping in at a light and came down on the saddle an moved it where the nose pointed to the ground. I'd already decided to not go to Iroquois as my shoulder was getting very tired. I stopped and adjusted the saddle (too far to the opposite direction!) and headed home. I was able to put it on my right shoulder with no trouble.

I can't wait to ride tomorrow. I know I won't keep up with the group, but that's not the point of riding. I'll start and chat and they will go on. Life is good when I can ride my bike. :-)

Oh, funny how much advice I've gotten. And please understand I appreciate the concern as it's a form of love. Some saying I should've worked more often on the trainer while off. Other's saying it's too soon to get back in the saddle. And everything in between!

04 September, 2009

Back in the saddle today

Thank goodness! What an ordeal. The work day ended at 1:00 pm, one of the nice benefits from my employer, half day before long holiday weekend. Since I had Physical Therapy this morning, and worked a while to make up, I got a later start than intended. Prep time doubled! Get on the kit, sunscreen, water bottles, load the pockets. Then there's airing up the tires. OMGoodness, when the tire pressure reached 80 lbs I could really feel it in my shoulder. Slow and easy is my new mantra for now.

Next, carry the bike down 2 flights. decided to push it down on the rear wheel with top tube perpendicular to the floor. I have some upper body work to focus on next!!! Jumped in the saddle, clipped in, and felt like jello. The torso, bike, and legs all felt wobbly. Decided to ride down Frankfort to Cannon's. That worked well. Today was a small chain day. Just spin. Did a loop and a half around the ball fields at Seneca, out and around and through the neighborhood. First time out Pee Wee Reese a dooley pickup buzzed me and I yelled WTF! I was not happy, but once I turned onto Seneca Park Rd, decided not to waste energy on anger. Rode that twice. 40 minutes of riding and decided to find a park bench. Had 45 minutes til brew ride start, PERFECT! Did a full loop through Cherokee. It was fun.

I was SO ready for a brewsky. We rode to Cycler's and uncapped a bottle or three. Good times and I met a new cyclist Sam. Riding home was ok, but very slow up Grinstead.

I'm tired. Very tired. Guess I'll hit the pillow and dream about tomorrow's ride. Need to squeeze in a run, too. Guess that will be later in the day.

ps. went to the lung doc yesterday - can stop the advair! finally dropped below 140 since I can't remember when, last decade most likely. smiling here