09 September, 2009


Finally get cleared to ride after 7 weeks off the bike and I rode all weekend. So why is it I've spent two days off? Work is part of it. But the rest is what?

Ragweed is kickin' my butt and I've been popping 1/2 a Benadryl every 3-4 hours for over a week. But there's something else. The year's event are weighing me down. I'm tired. I need a vacation. Booked that half marathon and never got a room or flight.

Today started out great as I had PT at 8am and I can tell how much more range I have as well as getting stronger. Then somewhere after lunch it went sour and was not such a good day. I took a walk. I thought several times about smoking. It's been a long time since I held thoughts this serious. It was scary.

Normally, I'd come home and go for a ride. Just didn't feel it. Instead I found something else with several people I've only met a couple of times.

Of all the changes this year the most difficult are the friendships that have changed, dwindled. I kid myself about doing my part.

The sun will come up tomorrow and I didn't smoke a cigarette today, two positives to take to my pillow.

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