I can try to inspire in some small way, give advice when asked, provide a shoulder and hugs when someone needs me. Otherwise, the only control I have is with me, Sherri.
So, I'm not the brightest bulb in the box. I smoked cigarettes for 35 years. I knew better. I still did it. Can't change the past, only the present and hopefully the future.
I ran track in HS, hurdles, 220, long jump and 4 x 220 relay. I loved it. But the last competition I was in was as a Junior at State Regionals. Looking back I now realize I had a fairly decent asthma attack. I didn't run my last race, I just couldn't. My parents were very disappointed in me for not finishing and to be fair probably had no idea that I was suffering from asthma.
I smoked for years after that. At some point, in my 30s, I began self-medicating with an over the counter. Now I realize I could've done some terrible damage to my heart with that. I was around 41 or so when I had my last BAD attack. I didn't have any meds at the time. Spent 12 hours or so using mind over matter. Finally got to the Dr who called EMS and went to hospital for an overnight stay.
Started seeing the pulmonary specialist every 6 months. Continued to smoke and take my new meds. Now it's 5 or more years since that bad episode. I'm now tobacco free close to 5 weeks. I'm wishing I had been smarter sooner.
You can't change history. I have to be satisfied with the fact that I may have a chance to alter my future.
Maybe my bulb is starting to get a little brighter. ;)
1 comment:
Looking back at our silly selves can be puzzling, can't it? My bulb is hopefully shining brighter and brighter, too. You are doing awesome. Keep going!
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