I'm not sure where I'll go with this today.
I have been sitting in my car in my Mom's church parking lot, working on a spreadsheet. I'm thinking about our conversation while driving here. She is terribly disappointed in me for not joining her in Sunday School and Church. She fears I am destined to hell. She began by telling me there is only one unforgiveable sin. She thinks I don't remember my upbringing in church. There is no good way to hold this conversation with her since I won't lie, therefore will not be able to satisfy her wishes.
The week at work was frustrating and overwhelming. It's left me questionning my ability and affectiveness.
My worst fear is that I will be just like my Mom. She told me today that I've always wanted her to not drive and now my wish came true. My poor daughters. I am so sorry in advance!
My oldest daughter came to the house and I took her and Mom to my niece's baby shower. It was a great time to see relative's and friends we've not seen since the last holiday. After taking Mom home, I got to visit with H. She's gone vegetarian/vegan. Mostly she eats only raw food. She will eat seafood, but a minimum of that. Many times one of us is moody it seems and we don't have the best of visits. Today was different. We laughed and talked seriously about life and being happy. She and I have grown a friendship that I am starting to relish. Some people say you can't be friends with your children. I've always worked at being friends with them. I told her to please stop calling me when I start saying mean things like my Mom did today. She witnessed Mom's comment above and told me that she didn't mean it and she'll stop in a couple months. But she won't and I knew that going into this. It's okay, I think.