09 December, 2007

These are always the most difficult days for me

as we approach the shortest day of daylight in the year. I truly think lack of sunshine wears on me. It affects how I embrace each day. This weekend has been full of gray skies. Sorry to those of you in the Northwest, but I could never live in Seattle. Too many days without sunshine.

This year has been one of depression, reflection, letting go, discontent and then there have been wondrous days of joy, pride, surprise, laughter, passion and love.

I've been enlightened by some in the professional world about the reality of my future with my current role and company due to circumstances beyond my control. Funny, if this were any other employer I would've immediately started looking for a new job, or at least answered some of those headhunters that have come knocking on my door. But I love the work (sometimes it can be crap) and I am grateful for the relationships I've maintained and people I have the opportunity to work with. So, I will continue to look for opportunities with my current employer to grow, prove myselft and advance.

I've been very emotional for a couple of months due to relationship issues between my girls and hubby and me. Thanksgiving was a BUST. Finally, drug out the Christmas tree and decorated it this afternoon. Seriously thought about skipping it this year.

So, it's time I pull my head out of my ass. I've done some good things this year and I've reaped several benefits. I have to find or make my own sunshine on a daily basis.

I quit smoking and I've slowly changed my lifestyle to one that is more healthy. I think I've spent too much time fantasizing, but if you don't have dreams and ambitions what do you have? Some of my fantasies have come to fruition, which has been marvelously delicious on so many levels. Some of my fantasies never will, which is the way it should be. Some will just take more time, serious planning and execution on my part.

What I should do is get back on my bike and ride, 'cause that always make me feel good, alive and vibrant!

Hopefully, the next post will be back to boring fitness stuff.


maggie said...

It does rain a ridiculous amount in the Northwest, but I've learned to kind of hunker down into the moodiness of it all and even enjoy it. Definitely an acquired taste, for certain. I love that you are always aiming forward. That's awesome.

Sherri said...

Oh Maggie, I wish I was always aiming forward. It's easy to get down this time of year for so many different reasons. I'm the only one that can keep me happy, it's hard work! :-)