and I am not one to be a quitter, but boy have I toyed with the idea quite a lot lately.
It's a struggle some days to get to a smile. I have spent the last few days thinking of where I am and not that thrilled with it. Where do I want to be? How do I get there?
Work has lost it's luster and appeal. It's discouraging to watch more jobs lost or moved to far away places. I want that feeling of can't wait to start the workday again.
Personal life is just too solitary most days. So much so that I signed up for online dating. So dumb! It's like shopping and I hate to shop. Anyway, that runs out end of the month. So I've had a total of 2 "coffee dates" over 3 months. Time to figure something else out or maybe it's just that I don't need to figure anything out. I should just stop thinking about it.
Cycling has been the one thing that has kept me sort of sane. I can pedal and the negatives turn to positives. But the racing lately has been disappointing and I listen to myself start the excuse list. I hate that! I wish I didn't worry about how silly I look out there on the course. Oh well, too late and too bad.
I must say though, that there is a large group of ladies, youngsters and gentlemen that I've met that are some of the best people around. Not just the ones that race either. I am so very happy to see their faces each weekend. It makes me a little sad to think there are only two weekends to go and then a long winter to get through. Today I got to cheer for lots of friends. Took pictures that didn't turn out very well and talked to lots of good people.
Still wish I could make some things better. There's a friendship or two that are broken and I just can't seem to find a way to fix them proper.