ups and downs

not sure why I let shit bother me. I took off for a training ride this afternoon. The weather was great, just a little cool which is perfect for riding a bike. I was focussed on cadence and keeping my HR down. I was 15-20 minutes in and the car repair shop called. I pulled off and got the lowdown, $2,400. I told them to do it. Continued on the ride and was just deflated. The tax man and the transmission are taking more than the net bonus I got. Yes, I know it's a good thing I got the bonus. So stupid. I riding and crying. I start up dog hill and try to focus on cadence. All was good on the first 2 parts, but by the third I couldn't maintain. Cadence dropped and I bogged down. Happens everytime. And then I start crying again. STUPID what's the point? I was to ride 2.5 hours and had things to focus on and all I could do was blubber like a baby. So I came home and went to bed. Woke up and realized I have no veggies in the apt. It takes me a while but I finally make up my mind to walk down the street, find me some supper. Everyone must've been at the Irish Rover, Frankfort ave was packed. I walked to Kroger. Nice walk. bought some veggies and fruit, stopped for beer and enjoyed the time away. I'd say I was out for about 40 minutes give or take. Lots of people staggering down the sidewalks. It is St Patrick's Day. Made me stop feeling sorry for myself that I didn't have anyone to drink green beer with. I need a bike lock if I want to ride after work. I need to get over this money shit and back to training. yeah, that's it