16 March, 2008

Life sure does have it's highs and lows

Interesting how it twists and turns. Like a roller coaster with it's ups and downs or the tide with it's ebb and flow. It's all constant change. We can try to plan, but there's always a surprise or two just around the bend.

Put in 2 hours on the bike last Saturday, knowing it was going to be difficult to get in enough training time on the road. I messed up my Advair prescription and let it run out. Only time I've done that in over 5 years. My last dose was Saturday morning, and didn't have another til Tuesday night. I was thrilled that it was delivered on Tuesday. I had no issues the entire time I was in San Antonio with my asthma. In fact, my lungs were more clear while there than normal. It was when I crossed the Mississippi River on the way home that I noticed a difference. When we landed in Birmingham, I realised that I was getting some raspiness in my chest.

In addition to the chest crud, I was starting to feel squeezed with projects and requests. Stress has come and gone over the last weeks and months, but Wednesday and Thursday I felt it more than normal. Then, on Friday a situation that I thought was going sour turned out in the best of ways.

I managed to run or ride Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Was supposed to do the 10 K on Sat. My chest was still too raspy and I was too tired and worn out from the week of travel and stress. I slept in on Saturday til almost 8. Once I got coffee I turned on the TV. The local news was on and showing the 10K. I've annoyed with myself ever since, but I know I made the right decision.

Saturday was an odd one. My youngest came and we talked about her wedding, which is April 2009. Now we have 2 weddings! Sis in June and my daughter next Spring! Before she arrived at the house, Hubby and I talked a bit. It's been a long winter for him, with no work and he's battled with depression. I'm not sure what I can do to help him. I think it's up to him to find a way to pull out of this. He told me that he started smoking again a couple of weeks back. I knew he had, but ignored the signs.

I had such a feeling of panic when I heard him say the words. Because the first thought was, "he has cigarettes and I can smoke one". NO! NO! NO! Can't do that! Not ever again. I emailed someone close about it. They told me they had fallen off the wagon a few weeks ago, too and didn't want to tell me. It sort of makes me sad to think they wouldn't say anything. But then I remember the feeling of shame when I wasn't successful in quitting so many times. I've had fewer and fewer thoughts of smoking. However, I still make a daily choice.

Now, what I need to do is start putting together a strict regimen for fitness. The weather is improving. I need to get my arse to the HS track and start building a nice base. Then maybe by mid-April I will be running the neighborhood hills with more ease. Time is getting past me too fast now. I have a few areas to tone and a miles to put behind me both running and riding before my birthday gets here.

Take the bad with the good and hope the good is always bigger and better!

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