Living life with no regret

Easy to read and write, but has taken me over 5 decades to learn and relearn and achieve. I've known since I was a teenager that I should not regret my choices or decisions. They all affect the next thing. Honestly, I would not change a thing because of the effect it would have on life as it currently is and will be tomorrow.

Leo wrote this recently http://zenhabits.net/regret/. I like to read his thoughts. 

I had some plumbing problems that kept me home tonight instead of riding the Monday night lady's ride. Glad I stayed home. One of Mom's classmates called and we talked for quite a while. 

While I don't regret the choices and changes that happen in my life, I do get sad about some of these events. Relationships that change or end. Arguments that happen. 

My recurring lesson in life, and I'm still stuggling with it, is letting go. Like I have any control over it by holding on, haha. Working on it.

So I've rambled. I do that more  and more lately. Random thoughts that want to be expressed in one form or another. 

I love my Mom. Ours hasn't been an easy relationship, but it's been genuine. 

peace

Mother's Day

My first official was 1982 since Heather was born in July '81. This marks 32 years of motherhood for me. It is truly an honor and privilege to have given birth to Amber and Heather. They are my family jewels. I can't call being a Mother is a job. I never looked to ending my days like people do at a job. I looked forward to reading books at night and riding bikes and playing instruments and so much more. 

I still look forward to time with them, though it's less frequent. Our conversations make me smile all over and listening to their hopes and dreams lights me up. 

Here's one picture I found where they are posing together. 

I love you bunches, Heather Marie and Amber Lee, forever and always. 

It's been interesting lately

so many people are unhappy and cranky with the weather, who got what seed in the NCAA or some other thing on their life. 

As I walked into work this morning and thought about the things I wanted to complain about I looked up and the sun was shining brightly in my face as it rose over the horizon of buildings. (run on sentence?) What a wonderful change this made to my outlook for today!

Last night close, to bedtime, I went to the van for something, tripped on the sidewalk steps and scraped both knees and ruined the pants I had on. I cried a little bit. The weekend plans fell through. But I realized it's all just fine. It's going to rain everywhere this weekend unless you live in the desert. I fall down plenty. Pants can be replaced and in actuality those needed to be replaced a few months ago. 

After work today I had planned on riding the trainer, but my knees were still tender. I did not want to stay indoors sitting in my arse so I changed clothes and went for a hike in the park. The sun was still shining brightly. Lots of friends and acquaintances were riding their mountain bikes. At first I chided myself for not riding mine. Then I stopped that crazy thinking and went back to walking, listening and soaking in nature all around me. Woodland creatures rustling in the brush. Birds singing and working in their nests. Walkers and runners smiling as they went by. Heck, even the MTBers were on their best behavior and either pulling over or slowing down as we passed each other. 

There is so much to be grateful for, why ruin it by complaining about things out of our control? To each his own. Don't get me wrong. I was on my pity pot a couple of days ago. We all are human!

I saw daffodils growing wild all over. The naked ladies are coming up as well. 

I also want to say that I know many people going through tough times right now. They have family members recently passed or gravely ill. Some are healing following surgery. Others are dealing with physical pain that prevents them from enjoying simple pleasure of life. I try to send my best vibes to them. Either healing or peaceful. 

So my little scraped knees or silly disappointments really don't mean much at all. 

Love to everyone one of my friends and family and acquaintances. 

peace for all of you

patience

Periods of waiting are most fruitful when used for quiet contemplation.

Reflecting

on life and contemplating how it can be so turbulent and calm one into the other or all at the same time.

I have this training plan that I "follow" when the body allows. Making conscious decisions about how I react to that. Not thinking it's a resignation, rather taking what comes and working with it. The plan was written by Hunter Allen for MTBing athletes over 50. There is a lot of good stuff in there and plenty of recovery built on for the "mature" athlete. Auto immune issues interfere. That's ok. 

Doubt I will seriously "race" much this year. Going to go to a women's MTB skills camp this summer. It's at a new trail I've not ridden and that's always a plus. There's this style of racing called Enduro. I did one last year. The atmosphere is great and it's a fun test of skills. Maybe I'll do more of that. Most don't require a USAC license which is great. 

The final Snake Creek TT of 2014 is this Saturday. I'm undecided on whether I'll race. Might ride other trails in Chattanooga and if weather looks like it'll get wet head further east for Sunday. Right now DuPont is in good shape I read. 

Had a fun day this past Sunday. Got up at 3:45 am, ate loaded up in a friend's van and left at 4:30 for Chattanooga. Rode two new trails to me, ate Mexican and arrived back home at 11:30 pm. Didn't even have a beer, but had the best day. Temps rose to 70F and the sun shone brightly. This made the 10 hours of driving worth it. 

I'm pretty lucky. Staying grateful and optimistic as much as I can. Good friends and loving family keep me going. I may not be rich with money but I am very wealthy in many other ways that truly count. 

Old Man Winter and Mother Nature have teamed up this year. That's ok. We are almost to March and the crocuses will be breaking ground before you know. Then people will be complaining of allergies. haha never happy. Well I am dad-blast-it

peace

Snake 2014 - quick and dirty

Drove down in January and got sick with fever and chills overnight Friday, wound up driving home without getting on my bike. 

Drove down last Friday. Left town early enough to check in to The Crash Pad and then drive to Dalton and sign in and get my bib #, t-shirt and growler. Slept well, ate oatmeal with an egg and drove to venue. Decided to remove layers at the van in parking lot. Good decision. Goal was to he faster than March 13. Well I was out there longer. not a great effort on paper. Asthma early on slowed me down, so I slowed down. Took a while but got that under control. Was very happy to see low levels in the creeks so my feet stayed dry. Got to the SAG and they remembered me! Gotta love volunteers. These guys rock. Once I left the sag I seemed to be ok. But once I arrived at The Wall and climbed to the top cramps arrived fast and furious. I just kept pulling off so people could get past. The rock gardens would be fun I think if I rode this in reverse. Maybe one day. I was thrilled to see the cell towers. Finally burned more than 1,500 calories and earned my beers later Ssturday night. Had a lovely dinner with Karen. Received an amazing compliment before bed. Drove home in the rain all the way and arrived just on time for mix of snow and sleet and ice. 

The plan is to follow the training plan. Hope to have a better result in March. If I don't then so be it. Working hard to relax and enjoy. Let go of the bitterness of disappointment. If nothing else Saturday was a beautiful day in the woods with 400 like-minded mountain bikers. I am fortunate and damned lucky and very grateful. 

peace

Hello '14

So I got a nice present of a full time job offer with my employer. Took a couple of days to mull it over but of course I said yes. it will be nice to have paid time off again and employer contribution to health insurance and life insurance and more money. Not do easy to give up the flexible hours, but I think it's going to be fine. 

The holidays have been quiet mostly. We all gathered on Christmas at my brother's house and all 3 of Moms children and all 7 grand kids along with some significant others were there. it was nice.

Weight had been gained and now it's time to knuckle down for real. Time to put away the beers unless I burn 1,500 calories on a ride. I am hoping I can keep this chronic issue at bay. Too many weeks were lost to not any exercise and most others were starting over again. 

I need to find someone that will kick my ass or call me and say they will at least 3-4 days a week. Maybe when I replenish the coffers I can find a coach I can afford.

I am so excited reading and hearing friends goals an aspirations for '14. I hope I can try a few new things and see some new places. Kingdom Trails in Vermont with Disa should happen this year by golly. 

Several of my friends have had babies this year and even yesterday. 

A few of my much younger friends have been to Belgium racing CX. So very exciting to see! nationals will be in a week in Boulder Colorado. I'd love to go but maybe next year in Austin. Or maybe not. :-)

All the best for each of you in this new year. 

peace