July 23 saw my 5 year mark of no tobacco. At first I thought it was a big deal. Then when a friend didn't want to join me in celebration I realized it's just a mark in time. No big deal. Five days, five weeks or five months were so much more important.
Women go through a lot of changes throughout their lives. I'm not saying if men do or not, I'm not a man and don't know about that. Puberty is difficult on both genders, that I remember. There was a lot of education about that, I assume there still is.
I am amazed that more women don't go off the deep end and do drastic things while going through the stages of menopause. It's so trying. The inability to focus was the hardest part for me. Employers don't care and don't understand. Mood swings are intolerable and night sweats prevent any kind of decent sleep. Hot flashes start in the lower back just inside the spine and radiate outwards throughout your body to the most extreme parts. Heat so intolerable you think you are in hell. Then, finally at your breaking point it relents.
Once in post menopause even more changes take place. No one ever talks about these. I can understand why. Estrogen levels drop. This causes so much havoc I don't want to explain. If you are curious send me a note. Once upon a time a varied audience read this and I don't want to shock or put anyone off from reading. I've not written for a while and may have lost most of what little audience I had.
Not sure about racing at this point. Too many physical changes and still unemployed. I have an interview on Monday I am cautiously optimistic about though.
Love and peace to you
03 August, 2012
21 June, 2012
Lemonade?
Is what you make with lemons, right?
I keep working at finding the best parts of not so great things. Sometimes it works and sometimes I could do better.
A friendship that has waned. I see this person has made wonderful new friendships and is having great times with them. My heart twinges and I get sad. But all in all I'm quite happy for them. Good things should happen to good people.
Training is in a state of blegh.Maybe I was just riding too too much. Or maybe I wasn't focusing on the right things. I knew I didn't want to race the short entry level 5 mile in DINO this year. So, this has put me in the back of the results. I knew this was going to happen. Doesn't make me any happier though. Brown County is a beautiful place, but the race start is tough. It definitely separates the true climbers from the rest of the field and strings everyone out along a mile of pavement before finally arriving at the single track. The day was beautiful and temps were about perfect. Two hours after this race though I lost about 20 minutes. We know I didn't have a stroke. We don't know exactly why this occurred. I was not to do any "strenuous" activity for at least a week. So, I behaved for the most part. I went with two friends and rode French Lick on Tuesday before that race. I just can't keep up with those two. No matter how much I push and will myself this body is not going to go that fast. We are in drought conditions and the course is full of loose rock and dust. I decided not to race the night before and threw away my $20 entry fee. Now it's hot and I've lost my mojo. There's a race in 9 days and I just don't know if I'll be ready.
With lack of racing and training I'm not burning the calories I should be. This needs to change!
Still nothing on the employment front. I'm fairly certain there is one company I have no desire to work, ever. I keep spending hours each day applying. It's a frustrating thing. Some places never send anything when a job has been filled. One local company does send emails though. I'd rather know I didn't get a job than wonder for weeks and weeks. Then there are some places that have posted jobs since February and they are still open. Makes me wonder if they are actively recruiting. I know I haven't gotten a call for phone screen at this one company. I know something will happen in good time. This is just a slow period.
I had another birthday this week. Now I will be in the next age group for Cyclocross nationals and worlds in January/February if I compete. Since the season spans end/beginning of years your racing age is as of Dec 31 the year Worlds are being held. 54 isn't so old. At least I don't think it is. I'll be racing with the 55-59 year olds now.
I've spent too much timewondering worrying about lack of romance. It's a silly thing to waste time and thought on I've decided. I never thought what it would be like to go for so long when I was younger and married. Now I realize it's been good to have this time with myself. I'm learning a lot. I think I'm growing some too.
I have lots of friends and make new ones each day. It's time to get back on my bike and ride I think. This is where I have the most fun and feel the best.
peace
I keep working at finding the best parts of not so great things. Sometimes it works and sometimes I could do better.
A friendship that has waned. I see this person has made wonderful new friendships and is having great times with them. My heart twinges and I get sad. But all in all I'm quite happy for them. Good things should happen to good people.
Training is in a state of blegh.Maybe I was just riding too too much. Or maybe I wasn't focusing on the right things. I knew I didn't want to race the short entry level 5 mile in DINO this year. So, this has put me in the back of the results. I knew this was going to happen. Doesn't make me any happier though. Brown County is a beautiful place, but the race start is tough. It definitely separates the true climbers from the rest of the field and strings everyone out along a mile of pavement before finally arriving at the single track. The day was beautiful and temps were about perfect. Two hours after this race though I lost about 20 minutes. We know I didn't have a stroke. We don't know exactly why this occurred. I was not to do any "strenuous" activity for at least a week. So, I behaved for the most part. I went with two friends and rode French Lick on Tuesday before that race. I just can't keep up with those two. No matter how much I push and will myself this body is not going to go that fast. We are in drought conditions and the course is full of loose rock and dust. I decided not to race the night before and threw away my $20 entry fee. Now it's hot and I've lost my mojo. There's a race in 9 days and I just don't know if I'll be ready.
With lack of racing and training I'm not burning the calories I should be. This needs to change!
Still nothing on the employment front. I'm fairly certain there is one company I have no desire to work, ever. I keep spending hours each day applying. It's a frustrating thing. Some places never send anything when a job has been filled. One local company does send emails though. I'd rather know I didn't get a job than wonder for weeks and weeks. Then there are some places that have posted jobs since February and they are still open. Makes me wonder if they are actively recruiting. I know I haven't gotten a call for phone screen at this one company. I know something will happen in good time. This is just a slow period.
I had another birthday this week. Now I will be in the next age group for Cyclocross nationals and worlds in January/February if I compete. Since the season spans end/beginning of years your racing age is as of Dec 31 the year Worlds are being held. 54 isn't so old. At least I don't think it is. I'll be racing with the 55-59 year olds now.
I've spent too much time
I have lots of friends and make new ones each day. It's time to get back on my bike and ride I think. This is where I have the most fun and feel the best.
Along with my birthday always comes summer solstice. Even though the days will shorten they will continue to heat up for a few months. I always reminisce at this time of year. I am a very healthy woman. I have two beautiful daughters that love me. Life is good. Lemonade!
20 May, 2012
So mtb season is in full swing
I went to Chickasaw Trace in Tennessee end of March and then Tsali for one of the SERC races on April Fool's day. The DINO tune-up at Town Run just didn't work out for me and then the first of the Kentucky Point Series @ Fort Duffield was Mother's Day which just so happened to be my daughter's birthday and I didn't get to race it either. But since it poured rain that morning I'm not too sad about missing it.
Chickasaw, was a tough race, but I loved it. Was lucky to get to ride to the race with one of the Red Zone families. I've never been there before and didn't get a pre-ride. I'm always nervous to race a course sight unseen. Somehow I came in 3rd of 7 in Cat 3 women for a 9 mile race. About 300 yards into the single track there was a deep dip and then climb back up. Somehow I bounced on my saddle and knocked it where the nose was pointing straight up. I was 3rd in the hole shot and then everyone passed me as I beat on my saddle to straighten it out. It took most of the race to pick off the 4 women I beat. This race is a qualifier for the USA XC nationals in July in Sun Valley. Nice to know I can go. But I'm not this year. Need employment first.
Tsali was a wonderful course with great views. I drove down on Friday and camped in my van. I pre-rode on Saturday. Was lucky that a friend also drove down to pre-ride and so we started out together. But she is a Cat 1 so our ride together was very short, different courses about 1/2 mile from the start. There were a couple of tough climbs up washed out rutted and rocky. I could ride up about 3/5 but would lose traction. One climb was right after a sharp left hand turn. I have so much work to do and lots of riding experience to gain. I had a blast and am so glad I made the trip to North Carolina for this. Wound up 7 of 10 in a 13 mile race with a lot of climbing.
DB has been good to join me on weekly treks to mtb trails in the region. We've gone to Brown County numerous times, Versailles, French Lick and Younger's Creek. CH has travelled with me twice also. I've been so fortunate to get to "play" and get in some very good riding this spring. I was invited to camp at Brown County with some of the Red Zone kids and moms during their spring break. We had a blast.
I originally planned to go to Ducktown and race another of the SERC races. But feeling the need to conserve $ and gas I went to Brown County and did a XC Time Trial race instead. It was 16 miles, I was dead last, but it was a very good experience. Starts were order of registration. My start was about 25. There were 94 racers. So about 60 people passed me in the first 8 miles of the course. One guy knocked into me. But I needed to learn to not get rattled by people passing. It's going to happen.
This weekend was the first race of the DINO (Do INdiana OffRoad) series. It was in Warsaw, IN which is a good 4.5 hour drive with no rush hour in Indianapolis. DB was gracious enough to go with me. I have decided to race the Cat 2 women's instead of the Cat 3. The distances in this series are considerably shorter for women than most of the other series. I don't want to race 5.5 or 6 miles. I'd rather be challenged and know I won't be so competitive and race with the Cat 2 women whose race is 9 or 10 miles. The venue was gorgeous. This is also part of the Fat and Skinny tire festival, so there are road races and leisure road rides as well as mtb race. It's at The Village on Winona Lake which is a beautiful setting and very quaint little town. Traffic kept us on the road longer than hoped on Friday. We arrived about 8:30 and didn't get to pre-ride. We camped at the mtb start/finish area. DB raced Cat 1. Both Cat 1 and 2 women started at the same time. Cat 1 raced 2 laps for 20 miles. I had tough competition. Several women from last year also jumped in the Cat 2 race. I was dead last again, but I learned a few more things. This course was fairly flat with some punchy climbs and descents and a LOT of twisty turns. There were hardly any obstacles except for the roots on some of the climbs/descents. One right-hand switchback to a steep drop put me off the bike and I slid down it. DB rode it like a pro. After about the 3rd or 4th mile I rode solo most of the rest of the race. The last mile or two the Cat 1 men were lapping me. But I just got out of their way. They are FAST! or I am slow. It's all relative.
There's a kypointseries race here this weekend, I'm trying to decide whether to do. Next weekend is the next DINO at Brown County. It has a tough road climb ascent before dropping into the single track.
I've ridden and ridden. I know I'm improving but there are times I feel I'm going backwards. Last week I just didn't ride well at all. Wound up endoing on No Net and crashing in Wilderness at Chero/Seneca. Something I haven't done in a long while there.
To change the subject briefly, I had my first phone interview ever on Thursday. We'll see if they call to schedule a face to face this week. At least this is good practice. There's one job I have applied for that i really would like to get. But life turns out as it should, right? Severance runs out end of this month so I need to get to the unemployment office soon. Tomorrow will be more job hunting and filling out online applications.
I hope all of you are enjoying this beautiful spring. It's going to be in the 90s this week here so it already feels like summer.
peace
Chickasaw, was a tough race, but I loved it. Was lucky to get to ride to the race with one of the Red Zone families. I've never been there before and didn't get a pre-ride. I'm always nervous to race a course sight unseen. Somehow I came in 3rd of 7 in Cat 3 women for a 9 mile race. About 300 yards into the single track there was a deep dip and then climb back up. Somehow I bounced on my saddle and knocked it where the nose was pointing straight up. I was 3rd in the hole shot and then everyone passed me as I beat on my saddle to straighten it out. It took most of the race to pick off the 4 women I beat. This race is a qualifier for the USA XC nationals in July in Sun Valley. Nice to know I can go. But I'm not this year. Need employment first.
Tsali was a wonderful course with great views. I drove down on Friday and camped in my van. I pre-rode on Saturday. Was lucky that a friend also drove down to pre-ride and so we started out together. But she is a Cat 1 so our ride together was very short, different courses about 1/2 mile from the start. There were a couple of tough climbs up washed out rutted and rocky. I could ride up about 3/5 but would lose traction. One climb was right after a sharp left hand turn. I have so much work to do and lots of riding experience to gain. I had a blast and am so glad I made the trip to North Carolina for this. Wound up 7 of 10 in a 13 mile race with a lot of climbing.
DB has been good to join me on weekly treks to mtb trails in the region. We've gone to Brown County numerous times, Versailles, French Lick and Younger's Creek. CH has travelled with me twice also. I've been so fortunate to get to "play" and get in some very good riding this spring. I was invited to camp at Brown County with some of the Red Zone kids and moms during their spring break. We had a blast.
I originally planned to go to Ducktown and race another of the SERC races. But feeling the need to conserve $ and gas I went to Brown County and did a XC Time Trial race instead. It was 16 miles, I was dead last, but it was a very good experience. Starts were order of registration. My start was about 25. There were 94 racers. So about 60 people passed me in the first 8 miles of the course. One guy knocked into me. But I needed to learn to not get rattled by people passing. It's going to happen.
This weekend was the first race of the DINO (Do INdiana OffRoad) series. It was in Warsaw, IN which is a good 4.5 hour drive with no rush hour in Indianapolis. DB was gracious enough to go with me. I have decided to race the Cat 2 women's instead of the Cat 3. The distances in this series are considerably shorter for women than most of the other series. I don't want to race 5.5 or 6 miles. I'd rather be challenged and know I won't be so competitive and race with the Cat 2 women whose race is 9 or 10 miles. The venue was gorgeous. This is also part of the Fat and Skinny tire festival, so there are road races and leisure road rides as well as mtb race. It's at The Village on Winona Lake which is a beautiful setting and very quaint little town. Traffic kept us on the road longer than hoped on Friday. We arrived about 8:30 and didn't get to pre-ride. We camped at the mtb start/finish area. DB raced Cat 1. Both Cat 1 and 2 women started at the same time. Cat 1 raced 2 laps for 20 miles. I had tough competition. Several women from last year also jumped in the Cat 2 race. I was dead last again, but I learned a few more things. This course was fairly flat with some punchy climbs and descents and a LOT of twisty turns. There were hardly any obstacles except for the roots on some of the climbs/descents. One right-hand switchback to a steep drop put me off the bike and I slid down it. DB rode it like a pro. After about the 3rd or 4th mile I rode solo most of the rest of the race. The last mile or two the Cat 1 men were lapping me. But I just got out of their way. They are FAST! or I am slow. It's all relative.
There's a kypointseries race here this weekend, I'm trying to decide whether to do. Next weekend is the next DINO at Brown County. It has a tough road climb ascent before dropping into the single track.
I've ridden and ridden. I know I'm improving but there are times I feel I'm going backwards. Last week I just didn't ride well at all. Wound up endoing on No Net and crashing in Wilderness at Chero/Seneca. Something I haven't done in a long while there.
To change the subject briefly, I had my first phone interview ever on Thursday. We'll see if they call to schedule a face to face this week. At least this is good practice. There's one job I have applied for that i really would like to get. But life turns out as it should, right? Severance runs out end of this month so I need to get to the unemployment office soon. Tomorrow will be more job hunting and filling out online applications.
I hope all of you are enjoying this beautiful spring. It's going to be in the 90s this week here so it already feels like summer.
peace
07 April, 2012
04 April, 2012
I'm behind on race updates
maybe I'll write something tomorrow. tomorrow will be day #3 running for Mom. Glad I'm able to do it. She has a CT scan tomorrow.
I have read and read and read job postings. It's so discouraging. Doesn't seem like I'm qualified for anything. Eh, it'll work out. Always does. right?
It's interesting how things turn out. How I set expectations and am disappointed. Note to self: Stop doing that! ha ha
I try to be there for friends when they go through tough times. Lend an ear mostly. There've been a few over the last couple of years that lost their jobs. Now they are busy or have other things to talk about.
Life is change. Nothing stays the same. Nope it's always different.
peace to you
I have read and read and read job postings. It's so discouraging. Doesn't seem like I'm qualified for anything. Eh, it'll work out. Always does. right?
It's interesting how things turn out. How I set expectations and am disappointed. Note to self: Stop doing that! ha ha
I try to be there for friends when they go through tough times. Lend an ear mostly. There've been a few over the last couple of years that lost their jobs. Now they are busy or have other things to talk about.
Life is change. Nothing stays the same. Nope it's always different.
peace to you
21 March, 2012
French Lick
is a fabulous place to ride MTB!!! DB and I drove up there this morning. Neither of us had ever been before. WOW WOW WOW, what a fun place to ride. That's not to say it's easy. There is an "easy" Green trail that is posted at 5.5 miles and a "more difficult" Blue trail that is posted at 4.5 miles. Somehow when we put the two together we came up with 9.2 miles on the Garmin and did one small section three times.
There were waterfalls and delicate flowers, deer and only a handful of other mtn bikers. There were climbs and rock gardens, creeks and fast downhills. Flowy sections and technical parts.
My plan was to ride as long as possible. My right knee has been giving me fits and I was on flat pedals (the kind that come with bikes) with tennis shoes. DB was good natured as always. She followed me on some sections and took the lead on others. She was on her "pit" bike and had to deal with some adjustments to saddle position/height among other things.
We were having a blast and climbing a rocky technical section when all of a sudden I managed to fall. I grabbed a tree with my left hand and somehow was laying on my stomach, left armed stretched clinging to the tree, right leg hooked under the bike saddle and right foot hinged over a small but strong tree limb (4 inch diameter). My left leg was under the bike with the chain ring biting the front of my calf/lower leg and my foot somehow in between some spokes. Normally I belly laugh when I fall. Not this time. I watched DB climb the rocky ascent and I yelled her name. My left hand slipping around the tree trunk. She turned and looked at me and I yelled her name again. She started back down pushing her bike. My hand was slipping and I thought I was going to lose it and slide down the embankment and must've grunted or something. She put down her bike and ran down to me. Somehow, miraculously she helped me get unwoven and upright. Once composed we continued on the ride.
We finished the loop and decided upon having a bite to eat and head back out for another lap. Unfortunately, halfway into the first part of the lap my right quad began to ache. So, instead of riding a complete lap in reverse we only did the green trail for a total of about 14 miles.
I have to say this is a beautiful trail system. Very different from the others I've ridden in Indiana. I want to go back and spend a whole day, doing at least three laps and mixing up directions etc.
I'm so fortunate to have DB to ride with. Also, I am lucky to have the time to ride (no job) and Mother Nature has blessed us with some outstanding weather this March of 2012. I won't complain about the heat today. There was almost always a constant breeze that kept us cooled down.
Peace and much love to you all
There were waterfalls and delicate flowers, deer and only a handful of other mtn bikers. There were climbs and rock gardens, creeks and fast downhills. Flowy sections and technical parts.
My plan was to ride as long as possible. My right knee has been giving me fits and I was on flat pedals (the kind that come with bikes) with tennis shoes. DB was good natured as always. She followed me on some sections and took the lead on others. She was on her "pit" bike and had to deal with some adjustments to saddle position/height among other things.
We were having a blast and climbing a rocky technical section when all of a sudden I managed to fall. I grabbed a tree with my left hand and somehow was laying on my stomach, left armed stretched clinging to the tree, right leg hooked under the bike saddle and right foot hinged over a small but strong tree limb (4 inch diameter). My left leg was under the bike with the chain ring biting the front of my calf/lower leg and my foot somehow in between some spokes. Normally I belly laugh when I fall. Not this time. I watched DB climb the rocky ascent and I yelled her name. My left hand slipping around the tree trunk. She turned and looked at me and I yelled her name again. She started back down pushing her bike. My hand was slipping and I thought I was going to lose it and slide down the embankment and must've grunted or something. She put down her bike and ran down to me. Somehow, miraculously she helped me get unwoven and upright. Once composed we continued on the ride.
We finished the loop and decided upon having a bite to eat and head back out for another lap. Unfortunately, halfway into the first part of the lap my right quad began to ache. So, instead of riding a complete lap in reverse we only did the green trail for a total of about 14 miles.
I have to say this is a beautiful trail system. Very different from the others I've ridden in Indiana. I want to go back and spend a whole day, doing at least three laps and mixing up directions etc.
I'm so fortunate to have DB to ride with. Also, I am lucky to have the time to ride (no job) and Mother Nature has blessed us with some outstanding weather this March of 2012. I won't complain about the heat today. There was almost always a constant breeze that kept us cooled down.
Peace and much love to you all
20 March, 2012
Monday Night Recovery may never be the same
There used to be Skirt Rides (skirts ride) that was mostly riding road with other women on Monday nights.
Now there is Monday Ladies Only MTB ride put on by a friend of mine, Steph and assisted by another friend Deb. We all converge at the parking lot by frisbee field at Cherokee Park. I was thrilled by the 14 women who showed up. Katherine, a remarkable 14 year old cyclist was enlisted to help along with me. There was a wide variety of skill level. I decided to hang in the back; for a couple of reasons. 1) I wanted to help anyone that might be tentative on trails and 2) I was riding flat pedals for the first time.
This was the best experience I've had in a long time. It felt good to help others build confidence to do something they'd never done before. There were several women who had been on their bikes once, twice or three times before. To watch them want to stop 100 feet onto the first trail to seeing them clear roots and rocks, climb some good ascents and descend some gnarly root drop-offs was inspiring! I just kept encouraging and coaching as best I could.
I can't wait until next week! I hoping we have even more women come out and participate.
Several times a group of guys would come upon us and we would let them through. Once a gentleman said, "wow, this is nice to see a lot of pretty girls riding!" Others asked if they could join us and of course were told no. It's nothing personal. It's just that trail riding is intimidating enough without the added pressure of trying to not look stupid or worse in front of guys.
I honestly can't wait until next Monday! I hope Mother Nature cooperates.
Peace and Love to all of you!
Now there is Monday Ladies Only MTB ride put on by a friend of mine, Steph and assisted by another friend Deb. We all converge at the parking lot by frisbee field at Cherokee Park. I was thrilled by the 14 women who showed up. Katherine, a remarkable 14 year old cyclist was enlisted to help along with me. There was a wide variety of skill level. I decided to hang in the back; for a couple of reasons. 1) I wanted to help anyone that might be tentative on trails and 2) I was riding flat pedals for the first time.
This was the best experience I've had in a long time. It felt good to help others build confidence to do something they'd never done before. There were several women who had been on their bikes once, twice or three times before. To watch them want to stop 100 feet onto the first trail to seeing them clear roots and rocks, climb some good ascents and descend some gnarly root drop-offs was inspiring! I just kept encouraging and coaching as best I could.
I can't wait until next week! I hoping we have even more women come out and participate.
Several times a group of guys would come upon us and we would let them through. Once a gentleman said, "wow, this is nice to see a lot of pretty girls riding!" Others asked if they could join us and of course were told no. It's nothing personal. It's just that trail riding is intimidating enough without the added pressure of trying to not look stupid or worse in front of guys.
I honestly can't wait until next Monday! I hope Mother Nature cooperates.
Peace and Love to all of you!
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