Not sure where to begin or what to say. '14 started out with so much hope and fun and travel and friendship and building new friendships. then it changed. and it wasn't so fun and friendships waned. This is life. I am grateful for all the experiences and lessons. Someday I may understand most of it, or not.
Today I rode my MTB for the first time in forever it seems. Dec. 14th to be exact. But it's been so sporadic before that. Today felt so good. Started out very cold and it was after noon, about 12:15. The trail was good except for a notorious place that was just wet with drainage. Another spot had some freeze/thaw, but most of the trail is protected with good leaf cover and shade and was good. I was slow. But I wasn't worried about that. The sun shone so brightly. It felt good on my face. I wonder how much vitamin D production takes place when only the cheeks are exposed. :-)
Tomorrow we move Mom to a new place. She doesn't know yet. I have tried to not think much about it and divert my thoughts as much as possible. Wonder if I'll sleep tonight. It will be what it will be. She will be in a safer place, with more personal care. I have thought about having her live with me, but I'm not home enough with work (not to mention bike riding and other activities). Life is complicated.
Sending my best of vibes and wishes to all for a happy, healthy, loving, peaceful and memorable 2015.
peace to all
01 January, 2015
29 December, 2014
continuous change
It's been one heckuva year. From fun times and traveling with a good friend to the world being turned upside down. Friends that used to be are no more it seems.
Mom has deteriorated over the last months. We are moving her to next level of care very soon. Makes me sad that she is not the vibrant lady she once was. Though at times you can still see a sparkle in her eye and some mischievousness there. She does love her Elvis.
My Heather is expecting in March. It will be so wonderful to have little ones around again. I'm so proud of Amber working hard and now working two jobs to have a nest egg.
Tears of joy and sadness all mix together in this time of what seems to be constant change.
Silly to wish for a shoulder I know.
Mom has deteriorated over the last months. We are moving her to next level of care very soon. Makes me sad that she is not the vibrant lady she once was. Though at times you can still see a sparkle in her eye and some mischievousness there. She does love her Elvis.
My Heather is expecting in March. It will be so wonderful to have little ones around again. I'm so proud of Amber working hard and now working two jobs to have a nest egg.
Tears of joy and sadness all mix together in this time of what seems to be constant change.
Silly to wish for a shoulder I know.
10 December, 2014
Riding Dream
Rarely do I remember my dreams. Sometimes I wonder if I dream at all. Just now as I get ready for work I remember this wonderful albeit short snippit of dream. I'm not sure where I was, but there were others around. I was at the top of this staggered stepped descent that wound downward for at least a half mile it seemed. I cleared every step, turning and twisting and sitting back with the dropper down from one step to the other. There was no fear, people were encouraging. At the bottom I thought I was done, but someone said one more and it wasn't much of a step but an angled gap. I said and thought I couldn't clear it. I don't know if I did or not. My memory ends there. But in the dream I do remember I was so happy and elated. Finally accomplished something I fear. I felt like Danny Macaskill, well not really but sortof. crazy old woman
peace
peace
07 December, 2014
Jury duty - part 2
Logistics - Pay - in Kentucky a juror is paid $5 a day for their service and $7.50 a day for expenses. (at least in Jefferson County). There are 3 garages that provide a $1 daily discount for jurors, if you have your parking ticket validated. The closest and least expensive garage is across the street from the courthouse, it costs $7 a day with validation. This parking garage is usually full by 9 am. There is a snack bar/grill on the 2 floor where you can get a burger, etc. There's not much choice for a GF, DF vegetarian unless you want salad that is mostly iceburg lettuce. This goes for restaurants in a two-three block radius as well.
Each day varied on start time (9, 9:30, 10), lunch time (11:30 - 1:30), and end time (4:00 - 5:30). The jury was escorted to a jury room each break. We weren't allowed to exit the room until the Sheriff came to get us and then we all went to the elevators together for lunch or leaving at night. We also gathered at a designated place each morning and were escorted upstairs. Add 30 minutes to end of day above for actual time we were out of the building heading to cars. We were taken different routes/exits at the end of each day.
Court doesn't run quickly and there is a lot of time the jury does not hear what is being said between counsel and the judge. There are many objections and requests to approach the bench. The judge has a white noise switch that helps prevent the audience and jury from hearing their conversations.
The fifteen of us had plenty of time to chat and try to get to know each other. I wouldn't say intimately, but finally could address by name and knew at least a little about each. We weren't allowed to discuss the case amongst ourselves until we were sent for deliberation. We were admonished to not speak of this case to anyone, not family or friend. I think this was easiest for me living alone and not having any friends that I hang out with or talk on the phone with regularly. Also, our phones had to be off while in the court room so I just left mine in the jury room. One afternoon when we were in the jury room on a break one of the jurors started making comments about one of the counsel. No one said anything. So I looked at them and said, "please stop". The commentary was inappropriate and I could tell would start us talking. I'm sure my request added some tension between the person and I.
The prosecution called officers, detectives, and crime scene analysts to testify. We saw pictures of the crime scene and different view points of the park from various locations. We learned that Ms Sheckles was shot in the back 3 times and once through the leg. One bullet exited her chest and went through her chin back to front. She couldn't be found when she was to appear as a witness in the trial of the murder of her boyfriend and that trial was dismissed. She had been found in early 2009 and during pre-trial hearings was ordered to appear for the 2nd trial of his murder. D.E. Hammond was in the courtroom at this hearing. She was clearly in fear of her safety and stated so. It wasn't long after that hearing when she was shot in Shelby Park.
As I said in my last post, we were shown hours of video interviews with witnesses. These witnesses were brought in and as they were questioned they would answer "I do not recall" repetitively. So, the videos and some audios were shown to help them remember. Still, a couple of witnesses would not recall while being questioned by the prosecution. However, seemed to be more open to answering questions by the defense.
As I said, this was one of the hardest things I've done. I did not decide until we were in deliberation what my final decision was. We were sent to deliberation on Thursday about 11:30 am. We talked and talked and sent questions to the judge. Each time a question was sent the judge brought both counsels back in and they discussed our questions. We watched the testimony of Ms. Sheckles current boyfriend again. He was an eye witness to the shooting. He ID'd the shooter in a separate proceeding. We deliberated until about 8:30 or so that night. There were 4 charges. Three we were able to agree upon fairly easily. The murder charge was something different. It had 4 parts and while we were unanimous on A and B, C and D were sticking points for a few jurors. The entire trial was exhausting, but the deliberation even more so. Many of us talked about things in our lives that seemed to relate to this. Some shared very intimate pieces of their lives. The process was emotional and mentally draining. When we finally came to a unanimous decision, which is what is required, we were all relieved. The judge had us come back in on Friday morning for the sentencing. Some jurors thought this would be quick and easy. It wasn't. We went into the jury room after opening statements, witnesses and closing statements by counsel about 11:00. We discussed and talked until about 3:00 or so. After the sentence was read and we were released back to the jury room the judge came and spoke with us. She answered many of our questions. We learned things about the defendant we couldn't hear about during trial. There were witnesses we did not hear from and she wasn't sure why they weren't called to testify. We also found out that the defendant is now going to be tried for attempted murder and kidnapping.
There is much drug trafficking in this city. Some of it is done in our beautiful city parks. There are young people that look up to older ones that provide clothing and shoes and these young people will do things for them even murder. There is much drug use and so much addiction and poverty. We have too many homeless children in our city and country.
I went to a discussion group last month called the Distilled Spirit Discussion Group. It was enlightening and I learned about Restorative Justice. This is a program for youth offenders where they are given the opportunity to pay for the crime they've committed instead of being punished and shamed.
Click on the link to learn more. I hope this can continue to be utilized. Restorative Justice Louisville It makes me wonder where the defendant and Mr. Pettway might be if their earliest crimes were handled in that manner.
I will never forget this experience. I hope someday all of this hate and poverty is eradicated from our world. Sending out the most loving and peaceful vibes I can.
peace and love
Each day varied on start time (9, 9:30, 10), lunch time (11:30 - 1:30), and end time (4:00 - 5:30). The jury was escorted to a jury room each break. We weren't allowed to exit the room until the Sheriff came to get us and then we all went to the elevators together for lunch or leaving at night. We also gathered at a designated place each morning and were escorted upstairs. Add 30 minutes to end of day above for actual time we were out of the building heading to cars. We were taken different routes/exits at the end of each day.
Court doesn't run quickly and there is a lot of time the jury does not hear what is being said between counsel and the judge. There are many objections and requests to approach the bench. The judge has a white noise switch that helps prevent the audience and jury from hearing their conversations.
The fifteen of us had plenty of time to chat and try to get to know each other. I wouldn't say intimately, but finally could address by name and knew at least a little about each. We weren't allowed to discuss the case amongst ourselves until we were sent for deliberation. We were admonished to not speak of this case to anyone, not family or friend. I think this was easiest for me living alone and not having any friends that I hang out with or talk on the phone with regularly. Also, our phones had to be off while in the court room so I just left mine in the jury room. One afternoon when we were in the jury room on a break one of the jurors started making comments about one of the counsel. No one said anything. So I looked at them and said, "please stop". The commentary was inappropriate and I could tell would start us talking. I'm sure my request added some tension between the person and I.
The prosecution called officers, detectives, and crime scene analysts to testify. We saw pictures of the crime scene and different view points of the park from various locations. We learned that Ms Sheckles was shot in the back 3 times and once through the leg. One bullet exited her chest and went through her chin back to front. She couldn't be found when she was to appear as a witness in the trial of the murder of her boyfriend and that trial was dismissed. She had been found in early 2009 and during pre-trial hearings was ordered to appear for the 2nd trial of his murder. D.E. Hammond was in the courtroom at this hearing. She was clearly in fear of her safety and stated so. It wasn't long after that hearing when she was shot in Shelby Park.
As I said in my last post, we were shown hours of video interviews with witnesses. These witnesses were brought in and as they were questioned they would answer "I do not recall" repetitively. So, the videos and some audios were shown to help them remember. Still, a couple of witnesses would not recall while being questioned by the prosecution. However, seemed to be more open to answering questions by the defense.
As I said, this was one of the hardest things I've done. I did not decide until we were in deliberation what my final decision was. We were sent to deliberation on Thursday about 11:30 am. We talked and talked and sent questions to the judge. Each time a question was sent the judge brought both counsels back in and they discussed our questions. We watched the testimony of Ms. Sheckles current boyfriend again. He was an eye witness to the shooting. He ID'd the shooter in a separate proceeding. We deliberated until about 8:30 or so that night. There were 4 charges. Three we were able to agree upon fairly easily. The murder charge was something different. It had 4 parts and while we were unanimous on A and B, C and D were sticking points for a few jurors. The entire trial was exhausting, but the deliberation even more so. Many of us talked about things in our lives that seemed to relate to this. Some shared very intimate pieces of their lives. The process was emotional and mentally draining. When we finally came to a unanimous decision, which is what is required, we were all relieved. The judge had us come back in on Friday morning for the sentencing. Some jurors thought this would be quick and easy. It wasn't. We went into the jury room after opening statements, witnesses and closing statements by counsel about 11:00. We discussed and talked until about 3:00 or so. After the sentence was read and we were released back to the jury room the judge came and spoke with us. She answered many of our questions. We learned things about the defendant we couldn't hear about during trial. There were witnesses we did not hear from and she wasn't sure why they weren't called to testify. We also found out that the defendant is now going to be tried for attempted murder and kidnapping.
There is much drug trafficking in this city. Some of it is done in our beautiful city parks. There are young people that look up to older ones that provide clothing and shoes and these young people will do things for them even murder. There is much drug use and so much addiction and poverty. We have too many homeless children in our city and country.
I went to a discussion group last month called the Distilled Spirit Discussion Group. It was enlightening and I learned about Restorative Justice. This is a program for youth offenders where they are given the opportunity to pay for the crime they've committed instead of being punished and shamed.
Click on the link to learn more. I hope this can continue to be utilized. Restorative Justice Louisville It makes me wonder where the defendant and Mr. Pettway might be if their earliest crimes were handled in that manner.
I will never forget this experience. I hope someday all of this hate and poverty is eradicated from our world. Sending out the most loving and peaceful vibes I can.
peace and love
06 December, 2014
Jury duty - part 1
So I spent the last 3 weeks on jury duty. I'd always wanted to have the opportunity to serve, but had never been called until now. I have to say this was most educational and probably one of the most difficult things I've been asked to do.
The first day had quite a few dockets, but I wasn't selected and was released around 4 or so. We had orientation and video to watch that morning prior to any jurors being selected. The second day there were a couple of cases and then the third case I was the final juror selected of ~ 50. We were sent to the 9th floor and filled the jury box and both sides of the audience seating. The judge spoke to us and then the prosecution and defense began voir dir. According to Wikipedia:
The first day had quite a few dockets, but I wasn't selected and was released around 4 or so. We had orientation and video to watch that morning prior to any jurors being selected. The second day there were a couple of cases and then the third case I was the final juror selected of ~ 50. We were sent to the 9th floor and filled the jury box and both sides of the audience seating. The judge spoke to us and then the prosecution and defense began voir dir. According to Wikipedia:
"In the United States, it now generally refers to the process by which
prospective jurors are questioned about their backgrounds and potential
biases before being chosen to sit on a jury. "Voir Dire is the process by which attorneys select, or perhaps more appropriately reject, certain jurors to hear a case."[4] It also refers to the process by which expert witnesses
are questioned about their backgrounds and qualifications before being
allowed to present their opinion testimony in court. As noted above, in
the United States (especially in practice under the Federal Rules of Evidence), voir dire
can also refer to examination of the background of a witness to assess
their qualification or fitness to give testimony on a given subject.[5] Each of these types of voir dire is taught to law students in Trial Advocacy courses.[6]"
That was educational to be sure. We were asked questions and allowed to approach the bench if we had anything we wished to say in private to the judge and counsel. There were a couple of rounds of some being dismissed and replaced with new jurors from the pool. On the final day of voir dire those of us left were asked to sit only in the audience seating as the jury box would be saved for the final selection of jurors. Fifteen were selected and sat through the trial. Mine was the 15th number called. We were always referred to by our numbers and our identity was anonymous save the judge and counsel.
The case we heard was the Commonwealth of KY vs. Dejuan Earl Hammond. The charges were complicity to murder, retaliation against a participant in the legal process, intimidation of a participant in the legal process, and unlawfully providing a handgun to a juvenile. There was no hard physical evidence. There were plenty of video of interviews with witnesses though. We watched hours of video and then the witnesses were brought in and mostly said they "did not recall". That was a most frustrating thing to sit through.
to be continued...
26 October, 2014
Bull Mtn Enduro weekend
I had forgotten the creek runs adjacent to the cabins and camping spots. As soon as the engine was off I heard it. I've gotten the therma rest filled with air. It's 11 pm and I'm having a FFOH as a nightcap before turning in. 6+ hours travel time is tiring but I'm wide awake. Didn't sleep much last night and I'm usually ready to sleep by 10.
So much has happened in the last weeks. I've pushed through the pain of flareups and worked hard to do my training program. missed almost an entire week but got on the trainer when the trails were wet. Many have ridden anyway and even been out at night.
I'm anxious and concerned about Saturday. I want to make it to the start in time. After that I can do the first stage and attempt the next.
I met up with Bruce of ProGold last night at Eva Bandman. I've known him a couple of years and we talked quite a bit last year at MTB Natz in PA. I told him if I'd known he was coming he could've stayed in my house for the weekend. oh well. things always workout the way they should.
He asked if I was coming to Bull MTN with Brian and I said nope I was traveling solo. He seemed surprised and concerned about that. I honestly don't understand why people have that response with women but not men. like I can't take care of myself? give me a break. But I digress. He told me about this secret ride in GA said it's really hard but a big party and if I wanted to do it I'd have to send a letter of intent. so for shits and giggles I did. seriously doubt I'll do it. I first need to ride that climb tomorrow (Friday) and race on Saturday. If my legs and privates hold up I'll decide then whether I'm going to ride Bear Creek and Pinhoti 1&2 or do the one stage of the secret stage race. I'm thinking the former due to drive time and the fact that it's convenient to Mulberry gap.
Arrived at Bull Mtn about 1:30 and parked under a tree. It was an interesting day. I talked to the promotors and got a map. The course was semi flagged but I missed a turn. Was still good to get out and ride, felt better about it but still nervous. I'm just not a climber and this needs to be corrected.
Cleaned bikes and had Grilled GF pizza for dinner and some interesting conversation. it didn't get as cold as the night before at MG. I slept from 9:30-1 and woke up and didn't fall back to sleep until 5. just added to the challenge of the day.
The climb to the start of stage one was tough. But I made it in about 1:20 or so. My Garmin didn't record the first two miles. Asthma at the top depleted oxygen in my muscles. it was a 30 minute wait to start and this I was thankful for. I was the last to start stage one. I only saw one other racer the rest of the race because he had a flat then he passed me. I had a blast on the stage except for the first creek crossing. The transition to stage two was another gradual climb with a few steep sections thrown in. Stage two was fun but more pedally than I expected. i rode 15.5 miles in about 3.0 hours. You had to be at start of stage four by 3:30. And I just didn't think I had what it took to ride another 15 miles and make the cutoff. Hopefully next year. it's a great course and event. Sad only two women entered. But they gave me swag so that was cool.
Waited (napped) for Brian to finish and the results to be posted. He did a great job out there. I left and drive back to Mulberry Gap. Arrived in time for a shower before dinner. they had bicycle rides in the barn following dinner on these little tiny bikes. Fun stuff.
There was a group of women there from Alabama and other places to ride for the weekend. Grace was one of the ride guides and invited me to join them. I did. my legs were toast. It wasn't exactly the recovery ride I should've done but heck I was in the mountains so you have to climb. Cramps were not much fun but was so nice riding with 14 other women.
6+ hour drive home kicked my butt even more.
So many things I will journal about that I won't put here. Somethings make mecrazy mad and others just make me sad. But end of today I am grateful for every moment, experience and conversation.
too tired to write a better report.
peace and love to everyone
p.s. I had to ask him to, but Brian took this photo and the email subject line said, "Don't look so excited". nice Everyone else was in front of me even though it looks like I'm alone. Just last.
p.s. I had to ask him to, but Brian took this photo and the email subject line said, "Don't look so excited". nice Everyone else was in front of me even though it looks like I'm alone. Just last.
16 October, 2014
Nothing adventuresome
to write about for now. I'm tired and have been sad. As I have said since I started this blog life is change and we need to roll with it. A person I considered to be a close friend has decided that has changed. Maybe I invested more than they. It's possible. But I feel taken for granted and taken advantage of.
Thank goodness for bicycles and yes trainers. Timing and weather have kept me indoors this week. But my bikes keep me sane, well more calm than I would be without. hah
So many others are hurting in much worse ways and I feel almost ashamed for my drama.
Living the most I can in the moment. Hope tomorrow is a better day.
peace and love to all of you
Thank goodness for bicycles and yes trainers. Timing and weather have kept me indoors this week. But my bikes keep me sane, well more calm than I would be without. hah
So many others are hurting in much worse ways and I feel almost ashamed for my drama.
Living the most I can in the moment. Hope tomorrow is a better day.
peace and love to all of you
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